The Coffee Goddess

Silent in the New Year*

2011-12-24T15:47:00.000+08:00

My mother is a very superstitious woman. As a child, I grew up a witness to these superstitions. She has an armada of superstitious practices and beliefs for every occassion. Take for example the celebration of New Year.

On New Year’s eve, on top of all the noise and revelry, she would require me to jump several times over at the strike of twelve midnight. This was so that I could grow taller. I was not spared from wearing polka-dot clothes ala-Kuya German “Germs” Moreno on the first day of January so that, my finances in the future would fountain like a natural spring. Grapes hung from doorways and all water receptacles, food containers and wallets must be full, if not, half filled at least. And so, it goes that at the start of every year, she would consult fortune tellers who read palms and use tarot cards to chart and predict the future.

A decade later, give or take a few odd years, I realized how funny and childish these superstitious rituals were. Looking back, it’s all but a game my mother and I played on New Year’s day.

I’m stuck at four feet and ten inches. Money does not spring out of water wells nor does it grow on trees. Laze around, cease to discover dignity in labor and indeed, the rice dispenser and food cupboard would go empty on days. Fortune tellers are business people who need to put food on the table just like everybody else; and polka-dot clothes make good costumes for clowns. The strange thing is, many people, myself included, still subscribe to such practices in spite of the teachings acquired from many a spiritual formation activity. I still find myself filling up water bins on New Year’s eve. A hard habit to break, yes, especially since it was instilled in childhood.

I worry because such beliefs and practices, amusing and fun as they are, can blur the path towards discernment and knowing the heart’s true desires. It is difficult enough to be aware of one’s emotions and to ask God’s intervention to heal the illnesses of the spirit more so, break habits that drive me away from growing in a relationship with God.

I turn to my journal and take comfort on the notes and reflection points from recent Ignatian retreats and recollections, and insights gleaned from talks by guest priests during Comceleb. It is etched in my mind the challenge of Fr. Dave Concepcion to always examine and examen the way we do things especially because humans are creatures of habit. We all have a tendency to lose sight of God’s will in the midst of the work and the ways of this world. Fr. Manoling Francisco SJ once shared that in past mistakes, God will draw out the good from them because nothing is ever wasted in God’s plan of salvation.

Therefore, hope can be found not in crystal balls or tea leaves but in constant prayer and reflection. God has to be the greatest fortune teller for He uses many ways to reveal the future. Besides, He has a tool that surpass all forms of magical implements -- silence. The catch is, you and I, we better listen well for He knows no superstitions.

* For the January 2011 Issue of the Magis Deo Newsletter

My Life in Pictures 2011 Part 1

2011-12-20T15:31:00.000+08:00

First photo from new MacBook

The school where Jose Rizal went to as a young boy (?)

PBBY's NCBD 2011 @ UST

Birthday cupcakes from Tita Flor Pison

Flowers @BLD

IL Workshop @ Work

TTW for Sa Aklat Sisikat

Cat napping. Photo taken in the neighborhood.

Nico is getting better at guitar playing.

A rainbow over Binan, Laguna

First book published!

Zoe is growing up reading.

All Time Low

2011-12-20T13:50:00.000+08:00

I know.

I have not been keeping this blog alive. It sputters like an engine whose gas tank has been left with little fuel or none at all. One thing is for sure though, The Coffee Goddess is still drinking coffee. Yep. Ditched the habit a couple of years ago. Now, I'm back to my caffeine loving days which does not sit well with the hubby.

Anyhoo, it's not like life has been uneventful. I have so much to blog about but time for keeping two blogs is just too much. And that's the reason why, for the past year, this blog only gets a maximum of two-three posts in a month. On the other hand, I've been getting a life and it spells - B.U.S.Y.

While I can't let go of this blog yet, tied too closely to the umbilical, I'll simply posts some recent photos in the next few describing how my 2011 has been.

Retreat with Fr. Manoling Francisco SJ

2011-11-01T11:43:00.001+08:00

When I learned of the news that Fr. Manoling Francisco SJ was to give a retreat to the Magis Deo Choir, I was dead set on attending. Despite the flu, I made myself available. It was a retreat designed for the choir based on Ignatian Formation. Having attended the AIR twice, one with Fr. Mon Bautista SJ and the other with Fr. Vic Baltazr SJ, I was amazed at how the teachings from the past two AIRs seamlessly flowed to the sessions given by Fr. Manoling.

As a new member of the Magis Deo Choir, I came to understand the role of a music minister. I have always known that the purpose of the mass choir is to inspire and lead the congregation into singing songs of praise and love. Fr. Manoling helped crystallize this. The mass, when sung is a form of prayer and the choir is pivotal to its rendition. The choir should not seek to perform or drive attention to one’s self but to allow the congregation to be truly part of the Eucharistic celebration. While it is important to sing right and to sing well, it is equally essential that the songs sung during the mass are songs that the laity can sing too. That means, being in a choir is for service to others. That is why, the repertoire of a choir must contain liturgical songs that can be sung by all ages, in any demographics and in whatever kind of social class. The mass, is after all, a community celebration of God’s love and presence. This love, this presence of God is accessible to all.

Apart from this insight, I was struck at the process of discernment which Fr. Manoling put into context in the music ministry. It is easy to say, discern God’s will. To actually do it in practice is another thing. This was an area in the retreat where I struggled the most. To be honest, my intentions of joining the choir at the start of the year was to improve my singing and the techniques required of it. I have grown tired of my husband’s complaints. It was time to shape up. My husband plays the guitar with some degree of skill and competence. His tone and pitch, close to perfection. Shame on me if I continue singing in a lousy and sloppy manner. So yes, my reasons for singing in the choir is self serving. But, I am patient with myself. I will allow the seeds of service for others through the music ministry to grow. As Ignatian as it should be perceieved, spirituality and conversion is a process. It takes time, commitment and a lot faith.

In the retreat, I prayed that my participation in the choir is one that is truly in accordance to God’s will so that the work I do is God’s way. In the retreat, my co-choir members prayed for me . As a music ministry, we prayed for each other. Fr. Manoling guided us to see that serving in the ministry is an apostolic deed. The many questions he posted and shared would serve as guide to always remind us to follow the will and the design of God.I am grateful to be a part of a community that reflects and contemplates on the movements of the Holy Spirit so that actions are indeed discerned.

I am being idealistic now because, hypothetically, ministries in Magis Deo could also avail and open up to formation sessions and activities designed in Ignatian spirituality. What blessings, gifts and graces await us!

Top Three Favorite Pixar Movies

2011-10-09T22:51:00.001+08:00

Over the weekend, my family and I had a Pixar marathon. As a way to remember Steve Jobs, we popped in our favorite Pixar movies in the VCD/DVD player. Here's our top three favorites --

3. A Bug's Life - We love the theme: Innovate or die. Eccentric ant defies tradition and innovates for the colony. Colony sends ant away in the guise of the council's approval for eccentric ant to look for help that will save the ant colony from the grasshoppers that bully them every year. Eccentric ant found aid from circus bugs who are more than qualified for the job. This movie has some loop holes in plotting, but Pixar gets away with it due to the comic and hilarious rendering of story and animation.

The voice talents, especially that of Kevin Spacey as Hopper, the villain grasshopper is downright frightening! Plus, there's Hayden Panettiere who's very young in the movie lending her voice to ant princess Dot.

2. The Incredibles - A family of supers rises to the occasion to save the world from Syndrome, a villain from Mr. Incredible's past. The characterization and smooth rendition of the plot is superb. Brad Bird is brilliant! The movie's family archetypes: the father who is expected to be strong; the mother who is stretched in many different ways due to the demands of family and married life; the shy and insecure daughter; the hyperactive younger brother who has a great need to achieve; and the baby who is full of unrealized talents brings movie watchers of all ages together.

1. Toy Story Trilogy - The second and third installments are just as fantastic. But the first, oh, it's first love!

You did it again, Steve! Rest in Peace!

Coffee Love

2011-09-26T09:01:00.000+08:00

My friend Peachy Limpin is in town from the Land of Auss. We met yesterday along with some friends in the profession. We had lunch at ChocoKiss in UP Diliman and had coffee at Cafe Breton. This photo of her capuccino is oozing with coffee love-ah!

Creppy Crawlies Haiku

2011-09-20T17:27:00.000+08:00

On a warm day grasshopper

Rests under a cool shade tired from

Playing in the sun

Encountered Couple=Encountered Family

2011-08-31T16:01:00.000+08:00

In the recently concluded Marriage Encounter Weekend held at Bukas Loob sa Dios in Cavite last 19-21 August, I was so glad to see the presence of so many children and young adults during the harana. Apparently, members of the Magis Youth were present as well. I could not help but reckon on the promising continuity of Magis Deo in the future. These young people have parents who are encountered couples. It is possible, by God's grace, that they become encountered families as well. Looking at the energetic children and vibrant teens of member couples of Magis Deo, I wonder how many of them have attended the Family Encounter Weekend? When is the next Family Encounter Weekend (FEW)?

My family and I attended ours in 2007. The following FEW, we were part of the Music Ministry. Domeng, my husband, played the guitar. Our son, Nico, who was only eleven years old then, sang with the group. There were even songs he sang as lead. Indeed, he is the best singer in the family. Zoe, our daughter who was eight at the time joined in the singing with gusto. It was an experience that gave me so much joy and pride. I felt so blessed. What's more, I realized how much I missed my children. Domeng had been right all along. I had been too busy with work I lost touch with my children's talents and gifts.

Since that FEW, Nico has gained his self confidence back. He joined the school choir that year and continued on as an active member until he graduated last March 2011. He sang the Psalm in the Baccaulareate Mass, leading his batch in a song of praise to the Lord. To this day, Nico stays close to his love for music and singing. He performs in school assemblies and programs, and self studies the guitar, organ and recorder. Most Sunday mornings, Domeng and I would awaken from his gentle playing of the guitar or the recorder. As the day progress, he gets louder and noisier. A full fledged teenager!

Zoe has found her voice too. An alto, she shows determination in perfecting every note and every beat when studying a song. Mabuti naman at nagmana sa ama!

Apart from discovering their gifts and talents, I have also observed them as reflective kids, our daughter more especially. Zoe keeps a journal where she writes events and thoughts she hold as meaningful. If words are hard to come by, she draws them. One time, she was so upset over a bully in school. I told her to turn to her journal and write her feelings, good and bad. She numbered them and found out that she had more good feelings than bad ones. She saw, in her journal writing, the difference in the numbers. I told her, "See, God does not allow you to be upset for He gives you so much to be happy about." She has a box of journals, notebooks and diaries which she would read and go back when she feels like it.

Being in Magis Deo, I am given more reason to serve and participate in its formation programs because I can pass this on to my children. I am thankful that we have attended the FEW because I am now aware of the gift of family. My children are God's gifts to me and it is my role to raise them cognizant of God's love. Should there be another FEW, I raise both hands, my children's and husband's too to help out as one encountered family.

My Book Donation Project

2011-08-02T09:55:00.001+08:00

I have registered in JustGiving for my Books for My Birthday project. Click the badge below to see what JustGiving is all about.

This fundraising is for the school library project of Sambat Trust. The UK based charity's current project is the development of the Pantay Bata Elementary School library. As of writing, the library needs more books! So I'm pitching in a book donation effort.

There are two ways to help. One, you can donate old books and we can meet for pick up. I can also send a drop box address for this purpose. Two, go to my page in JustGiving and donate a few bucks. Your donation will go along way!

Stewardship in Choir Singing

2011-07-28T15:23:00.000+08:00

It is Wednesday again. I pack my things and prepare for the long commute.

Before I leave, I make sure that everything is ready for tomorrow: work to continue; errands for the helper to run; the kids' school requirements checked and projects completed. I brace myself for the coming hours of tedious and repetitive exercises at choir.

I sit in a corner inside the van and my service mates let me be. They already know that Wednesday is choir practice day for me. With earplugs on, I listen to the choir songs recorded in my iPod. Instead of chiming in their small talk, I concentrate on relearning the songs taught from last week. I open my book of sheet music. I try to follow the sounds and the arrangement of notes on paper. I sing to myself. I hum. I tap my hand with the beat. I do the exercise all over again.

Yes, feeling professional singer! Feeling lang.

Truth to tell, I am not a good singer. I may have a singing voice decent enough to be heard but singing well is another thing all together. I have a history of missed notes and pitchy performances. I have a long standing affair with flats and sharps. Ask my husband who've seen the best and worst in my "singing" and he will say, "Hindi kase yan nagpapractice". He is kind, obviously, but the point is, singing entails a lot of discipline and hard work.

Singing requires character. It is not anchored on talent alone. The talent and the courage to sing and stand in front of a crowd are gifts from God. Left unattended and undernourished, the gifts will whither away.

I think I have squandered those gifts when I was younger. What do I know then? At the time, I pride myself on being entitled to such gifts. Oh yes, I was a brat. I still am but thanks to the Ignatian formation I received from the Jesuits, and which Magis Deo continues. I could now recognize the ugliness in me and realize that God will always love me, pitchy singing and all!

And so I attend the weekly choir practice in Makati as an act of stewardship. I need to take care of myself and God's gifts to me. It is precious, these gifts. The least I could do is to develop it and make it useful so that others may be moved to seek and find God. Singing songs of praise and worship is, after all, a form of prayer and evangelization. If the congregation sings with the choir at mass as one community, then God is there present and alive.

Like a Cannon Ball

2011-06-27T15:24:00.001+08:00

It is the feast day of St. Ignatius of Loyola on 31st July.

A host of Ignatian stories come to mind. One of the more popular stories of the lot happens to be that of the cannon ball.

And so it goes that Ignatius, the pompous and worldly soldier got hit by a cannon ball on both legs during a battle between the Spaniards and the French. One leg was wrecked, the other wounded. Inigo, the defeated Spaniard, was spared and taken to recuperate at his home in Loyola because he impressed the French with his valor and valiant fighting. His commander wanted to surrender but Inigo would rather die than face defeat. Such was his pride and stubborn nature. To add insult to injury, he ended up limping for the rest of his life despite attempts at setting his legs straight. What a blow it must have been to Inigo’s ego.

Perhaps, Inigo had a great desire to look dashing once more. In his intense yearning to return to his normal life, he endured the pain of these two non-anesthetic operations succumbing to a fever that nearly took his life. On the other hand, had he not been hit by the cannon ball the road to conversion would not have opened for Inigo. During his convalescence, he read two books on the lives of saints and Jesus Christ. These affected him so much that reflecting on their exemplars, Inigo found great peace and satisfaction. The rest, as they say is Jesuit history.

There are still many anecdotes and stories on St. Ignatius that prompts us to see how God works in humanity and creation. The cannon ball, however, is to me, a relevant metaphor to understand God’s humor and His ways of surprising His beloved. What a romantic love story this bespeaks of man and God!

God knows Ignatius well. In return, Ignatius strived to know God more so he could love God back, succeeding, despite his limp, in finding God in all things. God’s love is like a cannon ball. He will hit you where you deserve the most. This explosive love of God, once recognized and claimed, strengthens and blesses a hundred fold.

This July, as the feast of St. Ignatius draws nigh, I reflect on the many cannon balls I received from God. Some crushed me to the ground; a few took away attachments I hold dear; and a handful of them are still embedded in my soul. Though it is not my desire to be a saint, I wish to know God who loves me so I could love Him back. I’m taking a shot at the universal call to holiness. Who knows, maybe I could get my wish in this life time.

St. Ignatius, Pray for us.

Nico's Cover Version of Pepepr Crusher

2011-06-10T09:46:00.000+08:00

When Nico broke his dad's guitar, I was livid. The owner, on the other hand simply said, "Buti na lang gitara ang nabasag at hindi ang ulo mo".

A few weeks after, Nico made a deal. He can live with an old pair of sneakers but not without a guitar. So, the budget for new sneakers went to buying a new guitar. Here he is doing an acoustic version of Chico Garcia's Pepper Crusher.

Staying Alive*

2011-05-31T15:42:00.000+08:00

While in Baguio for a conference last month, I was billeted in a cottage located at Teachers Camp. It was a quaint abode built during the American occupation. The experience of staying there for two days and a night was made more meaningful by the presence of a dear friend, Jocelyn “Jolad” Ladlad. I had not seen her in a long while. As things go with friends who’ve been apart, the catching up on each other’s lives went way into the wee hours of the morning.

Last December 2010, we briefly saw each other in another professional gathering. We exchanged hellos and beso-beso but we didn’t get the chance to even have coffee. She was, at the time, undergoing chemotherapy. The pink bandana she wore on her head matched her baby pink blouse and white slacks. Of course, the ever-present hoop earrings, bangles and the effervescent smile completed the act. Her disposition belied the struggle with ovarian cancer.

After five months, she’s on her way to recovery. Her hair has grown back and the color on her cheeks portends good health on its way. In fact, she has made travel plans to the US this June.

I am so happy for my friend to have survived cancer. Some would call it a miracle. Jolad called it God’s presence in her life. Never did she question God at the onset of the disease. Her constant prayer was for God to help her find the means to sustain the expenses necessary for medication and healing. God provided her with the money and much more! Her old, severed relationships were mended and the moral support had been aplenty. Neither was she afraid to die. Being single, she believes that the life she’s been given is peppered with blessings and seasoned with graces.

To this day, I marvel at her strength of character and steadfast faith. What could stop this woman? Nothing and no one can because she has surrendered everything to God.

I look at myself in light of my friend’s experience. In spite of the countless spiritual formations, I still hold on to many worldly attachments and useless fears. I am not ready to die. I am not ready to let go. This life is too important for me to surrender to a God who loves me and gives me the freedom to use my own will.

Yet, I decide to stay. I am staying alive in Magis Deo in the hope that, in every spiritual growth activity, in every prayer meeting, service and ministry work I do, I could come to terms with myself and the demons that drive me away from my God.

*For the June issue of the Magis Deo Newsletter

Pied Beauty by Gerard Manley Hopkins, S.J.

2011-04-24T08:02:00.000+08:00

Pied Beauty

Glory be to God for dappled things --
For skies of couple-colour as brinded
cow;
For rose-moles in stipple upon the trout
that swim;

Fresh-firecoal chestnut falls; finches'
wings;
Landscape plotted and pieced -- fold,
fallow and plough;
And all trades, their gear and tackle and trim.

All things counter, original, spare,
strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows?)
With swift, slow, sweet, sour, adazzle
dim:

He father-forth whose beauty is past change;
Praise him.

The Many Charms of Mauban

2011-04-20T10:07:00.000+08:00

For the past two years, my good friend, Luis Gatmaitan (doctor-writer and TOYM awardee) has invited me to join him as co-facilitator in the Cultural Center of the Philippines' Batang Sining workshop. Conducted every summer since 1993, it has helped children develop skills in the arts. Originally named as Batang Panitik, the week long workshop aims to encourage art development in children in natural and non-threatening learning environments. It boasts of reputable names as founders - Bodjie Pascua, Mailin Paterno-Locsin ( to name a few) and the late, great Rene Villanueva as lead facilitator when it changed into Batang Sining: Creative Expression Workshop.

I would decline due to conflict in schedules. When he invited me a third time and got it via SMS early January 2011, I said yes. It's too cruel of me to turn down the esteemed and multi-awarded doctor-writer. And so, we found ourselves having coffee a week before the workshop with Bing Tresvalles and Hermie Beltran, both from CCP, to iron out the creases in the plan. They were so easy to work with. Oh, the advantage of working with and among friends!

On Sunday, April 10, 2011 we were packed inside the van courtesy of our sponsors going to Mauban. What a delight to see the country side! We passed by the old towns of Laguna and Quezon- Calamba, Los Banos, Pagsanjan, Alaminos, Cavinti, Luisiana, Lucena, Tiaong, Sariaya, Lucban, Tayabas and finally, Mauban. The long ride was in itself, an adventure! We stopped by the road to buy star apples; asked for the price of lady corn plants and took pictures of houses decorated with pandan woven ornaments. Luisiana, Laguna celebrates Pandan Festival every first week of April. The official pit stop was at Lucban, Quezon where we had lunch with Ms. Anie Calleja, the indefatigable tourism officer of Mauban.

It was a hearty lunch of fish sinigang, grilled pork chop, fried chicken, mango salad and steamed rice at Palaisdaan. It was a quaint restaurant where cottages float on rafts on a huge man-made fish pond. Thus the name! Since we're in Lucban, we took the opportunity to go up Kamay ni Hesus, a shrine on the resurrected Christ where devotees pray and visit during Lent. An added attraction was the retreat house shaped and designed ala Noah's Ark. The shrine is located near the foot of Mt. Banahaw where fables and folk lore about its mystical nature abound. Bing and I climbed the hill to the resurrected Christ passing fourteen stations of the cross along the way. Needless to say, we had a timely prayer intervention in preparation for Lent. We visited and prayed at the church when we reached the bottom of the hill. It was our first time to be there so Bing and I offered petitions.

When we reached Mauban, Ms. Anie proudly introduced to us the big ancestral houses that line up along the main road. One of them belonged to the De la Costa Family, the house where Fr. Horacio De la Costa grew up in. Fr. De la Costa is the first Filipino Jesuit to head the Philippine Provincial. He is also a noted historian and writer. At the heart of the town is where the church and municipal hall stand. Tired from the long trip, we took an early rest in preparation for the following morning.

After our courtesy call to Mayor Fernando Q. Llamas, the CCP Batang Sining Creative Expression workshop commenced. My day to day entries can be read in my library blog. The links for Day 1, Day 2, Day 3-5 are highlighted for further reading. Just click away to read about the fun and crazy things we did. The workshop was designed for teachers and though it veered away from its focus on children, the modules we prepared for teachers to pass on whatever technology or skills they learned to their students. What's more, arts and culture are essential to the practice of teaching. An integration of the arts in the different content areas will strengthen concepts taught and learned. It will aid in character building for the teacher and the student too. In a nutshell, the five day workshop was a blast! The teachers gave their all and we were amazed at the sincerity and spontaneity the teachers displayed.

This is one of the many charms of Mauban, its people. The food, the historic places and Cagbalite are an additional frosting to the cake. Indeed, it is the community of people who live there that has made our week long stay unforgettable. They fed us well with local food and delicacies like their own version of nilupak that's tight and packed with real cassava; pansit habhab; Lucban longanisa; tortang macau; and an array of fish dishes caught from the sea. I gained a few good pounds and a lot of new friends as we break bread together.

The historical sites we visited like the Rizal Hill Park, the sea wall where the monument of local hero, Gat-uban stands and the De la Costa House offered unique, diverse yet familiar perspectives to a Manilenya like myself. Now I have bragging rights among Magis Deo friends having set foot in the house where one of the greater Filipino Jesuits lived.

For me, the highlight of the whole after-workshop tour of Mauban was our trip to Cagbalite, the famed Boracay of Quezon. I have not been to Boracay yet but this beach experience is next to my experiences of Capul, Samar, Panglao, Bohol and Puerto Galera, Mindoro. I love beaches but I enjoy a quiet beach the most. I witnessed the beautiful moon, silver at first, then gold, appear in the indigo sky. The waters where the river meets the sea was warm to bathe in. The mangroves that grow at the banks of the river and at the shores of the sea offered sanctuary to schools of small fishes, shellfish and water insects. Cicadas serenaded us at twilight. Bird calls to mate and feed would wake us up in the morning. And the sunrise that Sunday morning of our last day in Mauban was the saddest I have ever seen.

Yet, it fills me with great joy to be in the midst of God's grandeur!

When we rode the boat to another site in Cagbalite where the tide pools were at low tide, I thought I was in Boracay minus the foreigners and the trappings of modern life. Thank God for unspoiled beaches! There, in the tide pools and on the sea bed were living things - hermit crabs, sea slugs, tiny shrimps, crabs, flat fish, sea grass, schools of fry and egrets that feed on shellfishes nearby. The island is breathing with a natural life of its own. On our way back to Mauban town, we were once again joined by flying fishes and their aqua-batics.

Mauban holds many charms, from its woven products of buri to its nipanog or lambanog; its history, art and cuture; its warm and endearing beautiful people. It is up to all Maubanins now to preserve and conserve their rich historical and natural heritage. Thank you to the LGU of Mauban! Thank you to Ms. Anie Calleja and her efficient and vibrant staff! Thank you to Luis, Bing and Hermie! I was away from my family for a week. I missed them terribly. But the chance you gave me to see Mauban and meet its people, I am affirmed once more that I have a God who truly loves and provides!

Muning

2011-04-08T12:20:00.000+08:00

Zoe taught me how to like cats.

When I learned that she adopted a stray cat a couple of years ago, I gave my consent despite her asthma. As a child, I only took care of a dog I named Borgie. When he died of old age, I did not take in another dog or a pet for that matter. I still dream of having an aquarium with goldfishes in it, though. But that has to wait.

Zoe baptized the stray feline Muning. How original, I know. It's her cat and she has taken a great liking to the creature. She feeds her scrap from the dinning table and pets her head ever so gently. One time I heard her talking to the cat. When I looked, the cat was staring intently at her. This is another reason that made me like Muning apart from Zoe's fondness of her. She is a perceptive cat.

There are times when I would catch Muning waiting just outside the front door looking seriously at the house. Muning reminds me of Minerva McGonagal! It gives me the shivers every time Muning does that. But I would calm down and think, maybe Muning sees something we don't.

Sadly, we're leaving Muning behind. I tell her to guard the house and look out for seen and unseen elements. If we had a dog, I would fret. Dogs are loyal, yes. But you need take care of them and pay extra amount of attention. Cats, on the other hand are very independent. They can actually take care of themselves. They would linger if they find some reason to stay. And when the time comes when the reason to stay is no longer there, they move and wander away. Life goes on.

That arrangement is fine by me.

Pride and Joy

2011-03-30T09:49:00.000+08:00

With Nico after the Grade 7 Closing Ceremonies at Xavier School last 24 March 2011. I look exhausted in the picture but my heart was dancing in my chest.

The following day, Zoe received her award for finishing 7th honor overall in her class at Escuela Catolica de San Sebastian.

God's Grandeur*

2011-03-21T11:11:00.000+08:00

Domeng and I found our selves braving the early evening rush last Friday, 18 March 2011. We were beating the first session at 8:00 o’clock pm of the Lenten Annual Ignatian Retreat (18-20 March 2011) at the La Consolacion Sisters Tahanan Sta. Monica. Thanks to our shepherd couple, Ed and Sol Macalalad, who waited for us at the junction of Sta. Rosa-Silang road and Tagaytay, we were able to start the retreat on time.

The garden at Tahana Sta. Monica

It was such a relief to see familiar faces from the community. The team who took care of us that weekend was a mix of friends from the Magis Deo Community and the Center for Ignatian Spirituality (CIS). Tita Suni Rodriguez, Tita Djarn Pestano and Tita Joy Uy-Tioco from Magis Deo together with Tita Lynne Arevalo of CIS, who, in a way, is a returning Magis Deo member, were our spiritual companions during the weekend. Fr. Victor Baltazar SJ was the retreat director. All in all, there were twenty-three participants mostly from three BCGGs, namely Agnus Dei, KKK, Corinthians and Mt. Olivet. Two couples were from ME classes 89 and 98 respectively.

Attending a yearly retreat is already a personal commitment for Domeng and I. Early on, when we were a newly commissioned BCGG couple, we promised ourselves to continue growing in Ignatian spirituality. The Spiritual Deepening Retreat left a great impact on both of us, though in different levels and context, that the hunger for silence and the need to listen to God became palpable. We did not intend to attend the Lenten AIR though because it came at a time when the budget was tight. Also, our last AIR was in November 2010. That was only three months ago.

But our shepherd couple encouraged us since two couples from our BCGG were going. Apart from our commitment to God to care for our spiritual well being, as alternate shepherd, we take it upon ourselves to be companions to each other and for each other in the journeys we take in life. A sense of duty and obligation may have prodded us but really, there are a number of good reasons why the Lenten AIR was essential to us. It was Lent in the first place. Second, the opportunity to pause from a chaotic first quarter of 2011 and be with God was reason enough. Never mind the tight budget. God made a call and He will fill gaps in our lives that we could not.

St. Monica welcomes retreatants

True enough, God’s grandeur was made manifest that weekend. It helped that the weekend retreat was right smack on the Feast of St. Joseph and the Transfiguration the following day. What perfect themes to reflect on during the retreat and after. Silence. Transcendence. Transformation.

Once more I was given comfort and consolation by God who is so generous of His love that despite my failures, mistakes and sins committed He constantly assures that my brokenness is part of the process of becoming whole. And what a painful and beautiful process it is to be made whole by God! This is the God I met that weekend -- a God who beckons; a God who redeems. A God who allowed me to see the truths I keep trying to escape and cover. What’s more, God is the greatest lover because He leaves me with a choice and the free will to love Him or not at all. He does not give conditions and clauses. Love Him or leave Him, he will remain the God who is filled with compassion.

I consider these insights as a grace towards knowing Him for if I know who God is, I can find Him in all things.

There is no doubt that God speaks through scriptures but when Fr. Vic shared poetry by Fr. Gerald Manley Hopkins with Filipino translations by Fr. Albert Alejo SJ, I was in tears. I felt so blessed reading about God’s mystic as revealed to these poets. Reading God’s radiance in all of creation in English was awesome. The Filipino translation was even more compelling! Indeed, language has something to do about it. For the first time, I listened to Fr. Vic deliver the reflection points in Tagalog and it had a searing effect. May dating! May TSUG!

What further amplified this encounter with God is that, I discovered His magnificence through the help and presence of others. People in the community who attended the Lenten AIR were God sent. The sharing of co-retreatants on God’s ever loving presence in their lives; the processing made by the group facilitators; the inputs of Fr. Vic all contributed to fruitful reflections. Listening to others speak of their faith and experiences of God is edifying.

BCGG Mt. Olivet. Why did we hide behind the well?

Now that the Lenten AIR has concluded, the commitment of loving God back continues. The challenge to lead a life that is centered in God is great and daunting. I keep Fr. Vic’s words as pabaon when during the Sunday mass he saw illumination in us, his retreatants. He said and I quote, “you will fail and you will fall but the choice to take responsibility for your actions is always present. Like a light bulb with high wattage, it is better to stay plugged [to God]. Kapit lang.

I do not know for how long my light will shine after this retreat. I am only sure of three things. One, I am loved by a God who knows me inside and out. Two, I am not alone. I am surrounded with companions whom I can pray and break bread with. Lastly, I know that knowing God and loving Him is something I cannot perfectly do in my lifetime. But, it isn’t so bad if I die trying.

* For the Magis Deo Newletter April 2011 Issue

Revived

2011-03-18T09:37:00.002+08:00

This personal blog has been sleeping for over a year now. More or less, I think. Last year, it had its all time low count of postings. On the other hand, SLIA is in an all time high!

Iba talaga pag may kita ang blog. LOL

Anyhoo, here's my attempt at reviving TCG!

Facial treatment is courtesy of Skin Perfect which includes cleansing, toning, facial mask and yes, diamond peel. The clinic is located at the 3rd floor of Robinson's Galleria.

Growing Older Growing Closer*

2011-02-23T20:41:00.000+08:00

* For the March Issue of the Magis Deo Newsletter

In the recently concluded MEW at St. James Retreat Center in Tagaytay, I was touched at the sight of two elderly couples that were candidates of that weekend’s Marriage Encounter. They were a beautiful couple to look at. Both have graying hair, nearly white all over. Their hands were wrinkled and gnarled but they held on to each other. Their movements, slow and unrushed, is a message that says hurrying is a waste of time and that waiting for each other, taking one step at a time together is a dance of love.

I cried when, during a praying over session, the husband gently stroked his wife’s head that was safely nestled on his shoulder. It was an act so tender, so sweet and intimate I could not help but wonder if Domeng would one-day stroke my graying hair the same way the elderly husband does to his wife. I cried even more when I realized how short and fast paced this borrowed time could be.

What have I been doing with the time given to me?

I suddenly felt fear on the future because the present is cluttered with useless things of day to day. Our “now” is crowded with routines necessary for living but not substantial enough to strengthen relationships. Plus, there’s the concern and great responsibility of parenting, looking after the children’s needs and tempering their demands.

I do not know how the more senior couples did it in their prime. Managing work and taking care of the family at the same time, that is. Likewise, intimately connecting and renewing vows and the commitment of loving each other through thick and thin. It appears so easy for them to say encouraging words to a younger couple like us. Perhaps having been there and having faced the challenges of raising a family and remain cleaved to each other has something to do with being active in Magis Deo. The opportunities to serve together, to pray together, and to allow spiritual formation to seep into marriage and family life are laid on every couple’s feet. It is a matter of seizing the day and heeding God’s call that longevity and stamina can happen. But, of course, this is discerned based on one’s talents, available time and treasure.

I’d like to think that as a couple, Domeng and I are seizing the day to be steeped in formation and service. It’s not an easy journey, mind you. Since I wish to grow old with my husband, it is my decision to continue carrying the cross. Although he may not stroke my graying hair in the future, I hope we could still hold hands despite arthritis and discover the slow synchronized movement of waiting and walking together one step at a time. Prayers requested.

Bahaghari by Rommel Tuico*

2011-01-03T22:24:00.000+08:00

Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang totoo
Hindi malaman-laman kung ano ako sa iyo
Sabihin mo man sa akin
Na ako’y mahal pa rin
Hindi kita mapapaasang
Ang damdamin ay ganun pa rin…
Kailangan kong manalig
Kailangan kong maniwalang muli…
Bahaghari (bahaghari) Maaari bang (maaari bang)
Mamalagi kang maghari sa langit?
Bahaghari (bahaghari) Ikaw ba'y isang kathang isip lamang?
Ako ba'y nananaginip? Ang pag-ibig ba'y isang bahaghari?

Ituro mo sa akin ang tama o mali
Pagkat lahat ng ginagawa ko ay hindi sapat pa rin
Upang maibabalik ang dating pagtingin
Wala na bang pag-asa pang muli Na ang puso'y mapaibig...
Copyright © MasterWorks 2006

*From the RPG: Metanoia OST

PCS High School Reunion '90

2010-12-29T13:52:00.000+08:00

My high school classmates and batch mates went caroling last December 19, 2010. The activity was done in part to raise funds for the reunion scheduled today.

It was a blast meeting them again. After twenty years, I'm reconnecting with my old friends, former classmates and batch mates. FaceBook must be thanked for this phenomenon. It is the best way to find friends! Cecille Luciano (extreme right) found me in FB! In return, I found other PCS alum there too!

Nothing really changed much in physical appearance, except that, we gained weight!

L-R Me; Richard "Bart" Vergara; Brian Viar; Teng Quiogue; Jeff Plicarpio; Joan Jill Abella; Myla Cruz; Jeng Buenaflor; Albert Ignacio; Tina Bonifacio-Balmaceda; and Cecille Luciano

BER Forever*

2010-12-25T23:36:00.001+08:00

On Christmas Day, my family and I made an awful mistake of going to the mall. It was crowded and suffocating. Home is still the best place to be at Christmas Day. Family is indeed the best company to keep during the Yuletide season. The only consolation was that the four of us went out together at Christmas after a long while.

Like all adults, Domeng and I were spent. We were tired to the bone. When is Christmas going to be stress-free?

For as long as there are children who deserve to be given love and hope on Christmas adults will always be up and about preparing for the holidays. While sprucing up the house; setting the evergreen tree; shopping for gifts; and preparing the Noche Buena meal are all part and parcel of the Christmas tradition, we can show our children the larger purpose to all the hustle and bustle of the season.

Attending the Advent Masses is one. Completing the Simbang Gabi is another. Reflecting on the mystery of the Incarnation through an Advent recollection is yet another ritual we can do. On top of all the decorations and parties, we can bring our children to such rituals and traditions in the hope that, someday, they can build awareness on Christmas as the beginning of God’s greatest plan for all mankind.

Christmas is one of the many ways in which God tells us that we are a loved people. It is at a time like this when I feel so happy being Catholic. (Easter, on the other hand, is another story). This joy brought about by Christmas (not jus to every Catholic but to all of humanity) has an attachment in the form of a challenge. And that is to keep the love bestowed and given to us by God burning in our hearts all year through. Tough, huh?! But it can be done. And it should be done despite our selves.

The good news is there are many ways to give love and to show love. There are no strict guidelines and regimented laws. Yet, to love entails discipline and sacrifice. The beauty of it all is that we’re free to choose the path towards loving.

To end, I’d like to share with you the sermon of our parish priest, Rev. Fr. Manny Hipolito, that he made on the feast of Christ the King. I find his sermon appropriate in keeping the spirit of Christmas alive.

He spoke about the BER months being the start of our busy-ness in everything commercial on Christmas time. I translated his descriptions of all the worldly ways as B for bonus; E for endless shopping; and R for revelry. Then again, the BER months can also mean B for Bible; E for Eucharist; and R for Reflection. From January to December, we can try to regularly read the Scriptures, hear mass every Sunday, and steep our selves in prayer and reflection.

Happy New Year to all!

*For the January 2011 Issue of the MAGIS DEO Newsletter

Christmas Is Love

2010-12-23T18:00:00.000+08:00

Scrooge-like Christmas

2010-12-07T07:00:00.001+08:00

Over the past years, I've developed a Scrooge-like approach to Christmas.

All the shopping and the rushing from previous years' celebration burned me out. So, I stopped. It didn't lessen the spirit of Christmas. It made it more meaningful, really. Because, when I think about it, Christmas is not about the buying and the rushing.

It's about slowing down and waiting. That's why, for catholics, it is called Advent.

In Days of Deepening Friendship, fifteen ways to keep the joy of the season are identified. Some better things to carry on after December.

Lights and Sound

2010-11-30T09:18:00.000+08:00

Papadoms and I finally watched the lights and sound show at the Ayala Triangle Gardens. Being a holiday, there was a good crowd composed of families with their children, friends, sweethearts, tourists and a host of individuals by their lonesome: joggers, photographers, etc.

The show is a ten minute disco number with intervals of thirty minutes each. From 6PM to 8PM, one could enjoy the dance number of lights set in Christmas songs. Nothing big or dramatic. But it's simply amusing. Go there with family and friends. Then the show becomes meaningful.

Prayer for the Victims of the Maguindanao Massacre

2010-11-23T09:18:00.000+08:00

One year after the Maguindanao Massacre, we pray --

O Dios na mahabagin,
tiklop tuhod kaming sa Iyo’y walang patid na mananalangin.
Isang taon na ang nakalilipas at wala pa ring nababanaagang lunas:
Para sa mga kapatid na pinaslang sa Maguindanao
ang daan tungo sa hustisya’y wala pa ring linaw.
Dumudulog kami, O Diyos na maawain
para sa kanilang mga biktima ng karahasan.
Hayaang maghari sa kanila ang Iyong kapayapaan
habang ang mga may sala ay Iyo namang usigin
upang ang nararapat na katarungan
ay sadya nilang harapin .

O Ikaw na Ama ng Sanlibutan,
tipunin mo kami bilang Iyong bayan
upang sa Iyong piling ang pait ng nakaraan
ay unti-unting maibsan
ng pagmamahal mong walang hanggan.

At sa Iyong patuloy na pag-aaruga sa amin na nangungulila,
biyayaan mo nawa kami ng lakas ng loob upang mapaglabanan
ang iba pang kasamaan
nang sa gayoo’y maghari nawa ang katotohanan.

Hayaan ding higit pang mag-alab sa aming mga puso’t isipan
ang pagnanasa’t pag-asa na ang katarungan,
sa kalauna'y ganap ding makakamtan.

At sa kahuli-hulihan,
laging ipaalaala sa aming dumudulog sa Iyong harapan,
sa Krus kung saan ang Iyong Anak ay nakabayubay,
doon din kami nakatanggap ng kaligtasan at walang hanggagang buhay.

Kung paanong hindi Mo nilisan ang Iyong mahal na Anak, gayon din namang sasaluhan mo kami sa dusa’t hirap.
Siya na ninais Mong muling mabuhay
Siya’y mananatiling aming pag-asa’t sandigang tunay.

O Diyos na mapagmahal at mahabagin,
sa Iyong piling hikbi ng aming mga puso
Iyo nang tuluyang patahanin.

Amen.

Cornerstones

2010-11-20T10:10:00.000+08:00

Our kids, Nico and Zoe, have achieved a cornerstone each in their lives.

Zoe received the sacrament of the Holy Eucharist last week while Nico has begun taking the public transport on his own since last month.

These are cornerstones for Domeng and I as well. While I feel glad and thankful to God for the growing independence and insight of our kids, I could not help but hurt a little. Such is the path to parenthood. One co-member in Magis Deo once told us that children, as they grow, should be given freedom and the allowance to hurt their parents. Tough love. It has to be done.

Grilled Faith*

2010-10-30T12:39:00.000+08:00

In a recent episode of Glee, the show’s scriptwriters took on a sensitive issue for its performers to essay (as if every week they don’t pan about a controversial topic!) – faith and religion. It is a touchy topic for a show that has investments on pop culture and commercial music. But there lies the charm of Glee. Overall, the show has an uncanny way of merging the mundane with the sublime. It can be sweet and snarky at the same time. The music, the choice of songs, arrangement and direction, strengthens the show’s appeal.

Now, now. Enough with the gushing and the praising of Glee.

The point is, the TV show presented aspects and facets of spirituality; that it is dynamic; that it has different stages and levels; that it could mean different things to different people; that religion could strengthen one’s spirituality and that, the lack of subscription to an organized religion does not mean that one is not at all spiritual.

That episode on faith and religion left me thinking of my own beliefs for days. A lot of personal truths surfaced as an effect and, amazingly, a reaffirmation of Ignatian spirituality. Well, at least to me, as I deemed it.

Kurt Hummel, one of the characters, struggled with the crisis of his father’s coma. For his father’s recovery, his friends rallied on the power of prayer. He turned to acupuncture. An agnostic, Kurt refused to acknowledge his friends’ prayer intentions until Mercedes, the better friend, asked him to open up to the “experience” for it may bring him a whole new perspective to life and living. In other words, it is opening up to God and discovering the graces that come with struggle and sacrifice. In the end, Kurt realized that relationships are sacred, especially the one that he has with his father.

I remember Fr. Mon Bautista’s words on spirituality in the AIR that Domeng and I first attended. Spirituality is simply, a way of loving. And often, Fr. Ruben Tanseco would tell us in many Community Celebrations that loving entails great sacrifice.

I ruminate. I think. I play on these thoughts and teachings in some of my waking moments.

Loving is losing one’s self. And when this happens, the only thing that matters is the sacredness of relationships – with one’s self as tough love; with others; and with God.

*For the Magis Deo Newsletter, November Issue

Mooncake Fest 2010

2010-10-05T15:17:00.005+08:00

I miss this celebration. I got to play the dice again last week. Some photos --

I wanted to win this but I got the 4th prize instead. At least...

The Moon goddess. Isn't she lovely?

My first try. Hm... some luck!

Quietly

2010-09-21T08:00:00.000+08:00

You wake up at five in the morning. Oh no, you thought. The alarm was not set on time again. Either that or he turned it off an hour earlier to catch some more sleep. It is a luxury, sleep and rest. You begin to wonder why in your childhood days, sleep and rest are unknown words. Now, as an adult, you crave for it. Yet, you have no choice but to rise from bed and face another day of toil and work. You whisper a prayer: Help me, God. Be with me today. But really, it’s him you want to be with not God who never leaves your side. You want him more than anything else in the world. You could not say it. You could not show it. You could not even make him believe that you do.

For him, you are a mass of convoluted busyness. Parang celfone na out of reach. Prang turumpo na paikot-ikot. You are always in a hurry to do this and to do that. You try to reason out, most of the time, that your endeavors and the work you do are for the family. You try to rationalize that given the nature of your work and schedule, you have more time with him and the kids. Who are you kidding? Certainly, it’s not him. He could see through the different layers of your intentions. You are too competitive; too intense; too driven. When he tells you of these things, you shut up and listen despite yourself. You already know these things. You wish for magic to switch roles with him. But you know that it is only the stuff of movies.

He is pretty tired of this routine. You can tell by his silence. It disturbs you. The kind that gives you stress. A long, long time ago his silence meant everything. It spoke to you in volumes. One of which is the promise of love unconditional and unyielding.

Where has it gone? Love?

You try to shake off sleep. You rouse him up. He does, sluggishly at first, and when he realized that morning light has begun creeping in the east he stood up like a programmed robot, ready for the day’s tasks.

You follow in his wake. What is there to do but go through the motions?

The kids pick themselves up as well. Bath. Breakfast. Vitamins. Toothbrush. School service honking. Everyone leaves except the housemaid who will clean up a bit, do some laundry and then, she will sleep the rest of the afternoon.

You fill your day with the expected work. You’re so good at what you do that projects and offers keep coming. Blessings, you think. Lately, you couldn’t thank God of these financial opportunities. There’s a gaping hole in your heart that neither prayer nor a time alone could fill. You go back to what the priest said. It does little help.

By mid-day you send him a text message. Routine again. Function. Who will pick up whom? Who will buy what? When will payments be made? What’s the schedule like this coming weekend? The housemaid must be reminded on errands to finish. The kids have homework to do. You tell him of the extension classes and school programs that need attending to. You both decide who will go and why. You both do a good job with the kids. At least, there is something both of you can still do together. You consider this a consolation.

When evening comes, you both come home to a meal prepared by the housemaid. He wished it were you who cooked dinner. Never mind if your adobo is too salty. The important thing is that, you spent time preparing his food and his children’s food. But you had a full day. Fern C could not even stretch your energy at this point. He looks at you with weary eyes. You look back feeling wasted and useless.

The eldest cracks a joke. The silence is broken with the lilting laughter of the youngest. You hug her and your heart bursts with gratitude for she gives joy to both of you. You ruffle the hair of the eldest and your heart swells with pride for the young man he is learning to be. Dinner is filled in with stories from school. For a while, God gives you graces.

Late at night, silence would envelope you both once more. He sleeps with his back turned to you. You want to touch him. You want to reach out. But your mind is too cluttered; too disturbed by the quiet that permeates the semi-darkness. You remember what your writer friend wrote in her collection of essays – that happiness could not be found in married life, yet it could give you the dignity of sacrifice and the nobility of surrendering one’s self for another – or something to that effect.

She is right. You are a fool to ever think that married life could give you happiness. Love perhaps. But even that is something you’ve been grappling with lately. You turn to God in prayer.

Why God, why? You ask. He does not give you any answer

My Kids READ!

2010-09-12T08:31:00.002+08:00

Imagine my delight when, by accident, I emptied my book bag and my kids immediately jumped for the new books I laid on the sofa. They were watching TV. Each picked up a book and the TV was forgotten!

Nico read Becky Bravo's Just Add Dirt. Zoe read Halo-halo Espesyal by Yvette Ferreol.

Bygone Vigan

2010-09-05T15:46:00.009+08:00

My brief visit to Vigan early this week was a memorable one. It's a first, that's why. Second, I got to see the famous Heritage Village. It was a letdown. I was hoping an Intramuros-like experience. Instead, I merely walked a long a strip of souvenir shops that offered the same products. There are decent artistic displays though this did not fill the gap of disappointment.

I had a short trip to the city so I took photos of the cathedral, the plaza, the library and some commercial stores that are housed in old Spanish houses or bahay na bato. There are many statues of local heroes. Proof that Ilocanos are proud of their heritage and their "kababayans" who've shaped history. Dr. Jose Burgos, Isabelo de los Reyes, Leona Florentino.

Hotel Salcedo, where I was billeted in, was an impressive place. The second floor living room or sala was my favorite place. The wifi signal was strongest there. I ate pinakbet cum bagnet, chewy bibingka, Vigan longanisa and warek-warek, a dish of grilled pork dressed in vinegar, lots of ginger and generous amounts of onions. Yum! If Papadoms was with me, we'd have ordered some spirits to go with the dish.

The best surprise of my afternoon's walk down Heritage Village was my discovery of Bruno Bettelheim's The Uses of Enchantment. I bought it for 650 Php at Casa Antigua, an antique shop that sells second books too. There were a good number of erotica, but I settled for Bettelheim. He's a good reference for the book I'm writing.

On the business side of the trip, I had a great time at the conference in Vigan with the public librarians from the Philippine Public Librarians League. Of all places, it's where I got my renewed license. The whole trip has its plus and minuses. Over all, it was a memorable one.

Hotel Salcedo de Vigan

2010-09-03T14:12:00.000+08:00

Four More Years To 40

2010-08-06T08:05:00.001+08:00

I made a birthday wish list back in 2008. Two years after, I look back and see how many wishes came true.

1. A lifetime's supply of tooth pick and tissue paper - I still buy from the local grocery store.
2. Learn how to cook a variety of pasta dishes - Got stuck with spaghetti
3. Upgrade laptop from MacBook to PowerMac - Still using the old MacBook
4. A business name - single proprietorship as consultant and trainer - ...
5. Get a new set of Solingen pans and pots - Washed out by Ondoy
7. Pay all our loans and debts - YES! Well, the bigger ones are already paid. Working out a way to finish off the smaller ones.
8. Acquire a new house down South - Still a wish
9. Win a Palanca - Still a wish
10. Get published - I'm working on it! Book project with Dianne de Las Casas! YAHOO!
11. Finish my MA - ...
12. Loose 20 lbs. more - Gained back 1o lbs.!!!
13. Summer vacation to Boracay - ...
14. Study abroad via a grant or scholarship - Still a wish
15. A second honeymoon - Every chance we could get!
16. A nanny who could stay on with us for the next five years - Still a wish
17. European trip - Still a wish
18. Play table tennis - Kept to playing bowling instead
19. Learn how to belly dance :-) - Still a wish
20. Plant a tree - YES! Ten trees to my name. Thanks to La Salle Zobel
21. Care for a garden - Won't happen till we acquired a house and lot
22. Have a pet fish in one big aquarium - Won't happen till we acquired a house and lot
23. Chance to sing and perform - YES!
24. Visit Singapore again :-) ...
25. Watch a Broadway musical - Still a wiah
26. Put Nico in a good school for music and the arts - Still a wish
27. Formal assessment for Zoe (LD) - Took some initiatives on this and it has proven successful for Zoe. Must continue
28. No more asthma attacks for Papadoms (It would take a miracle!) ...
29. A strict waste segregation system in our neighborhood ...
30. A forgiving heart - YES
31. Deepen my faith - YES
32. Grow old with Papadoms - YES
33. Raise Nico and Zoe as God fearing and responsible kids - Oh, this one's a work in progress!
34. WORLD PEACE - Still a wish!

It's my bucket list till I turn forty. That's four years from August 15 of this year. I'm the eternal optimist so... we'll see!

Looking at the list, I think I did pretty well.

2010 NCBD-NCBA Photos

2010-07-29T11:02:00.000+08:00

Jollibee Baby

2010-07-17T19:02:00.005+08:00

My earliest memories of Jollibee were of milkshakes and palabok. In the early 80's my mom would bring me to the Jollibee branch in Quad, Makati after watching a movie or a leisurely stroll in Makati's Greenbelt Park. She liked bringing me there because at that time, Jollibee had waiters. And yes, the prices in the menu reeks of frugality.

When things changed, Jollibee had to compete with the growing popularity of McDonalds. A part of me was hurt when the Jollibee Quad branch transformed into one of those American themed fast food joint. I was changing too. The things I enjoyed as a child are mere memories of a childhood past. The milkshakes died a natural death. The palabok too, until in recent years, it was resurrected. Somehow, the childhood comforts I knew of the Jollibee palabok does not come close to the palabok which my kids order in our neighboring Jollibee branch in Pasig. It is the Yum that, I think, is where they excel in. It is tasty and perfect with catsup, tomatoes and cheese. Ah, a personal favorite.

Over the years, Jollibee has transformed into a mighty corporation that can pay and hire PR agencies and marketing firms to sustain its success in the market. It has done its part in giving back to its many patrons and loyalists. This time around, it has partnered with PBBY to further its advocacy on literacy. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a successful, if not worthwhile collaboration with the jolly orange and white gloved bee - the nation's national insect.

"Ma, how does it start?"

2010-06-25T12:20:00.004+08:00

It was one of those Sundays when sleeping in till mid-morning was the call of the day. The kids were in the room. When Nico noticed that Papadoms and I were getting a little bit cozier than usual, he said, "Ma, Pa, doon na kayo sa kabilang room!" (Ma, Pa, go to the other room)

To this, Papadoms replied, "Kayo kaya ang lumabas?" (You should leave us here then).

Zoe wondered, "Eh bakit naman?" (Why would we?)

Nico answered, "'Cause Mama and Papa will have, S-E-X!"

Trust your teenager to ruin an impending foreplay! The boys had their rough-play at the other end of the room. Zoe, on the other hand, had a question in her mind.

"Eh ma, how does it start?" she asked a bit abashed.

"What?" I was puzzled.

"Yung S-E-X. How does it start?"

Papadoms and Nico stopped from their mini-wrestling match and were both intrigued at Zoe's quetsion.

"Mama, don't start!" Papadoms cried.

"She asked. It means she's ready."

I turned to my nine-year old, looked her in the eye and told her with all sincerity, "Anak, it begins with a kiss. So, be careful who you kiss."

Hope for the Flowers

2010-06-17T07:52:00.000+08:00

My Xaverian: From Roller Bags to Backpacks

2010-06-16T07:09:00.004+08:00

Was it only yesterday when Nico began school?

I remember a time when he'd go to Xavier School rolling a bag that's bigger than he was. Those bags were heavy! At Prep, he ambled along the EED Gym and into his colorful classroom. Happy go-lucky and ever so vibrant, Nico endured lessons in Chinese and class bullies. Despite this, he had teachers who truly cared for his well-being and development. At grade three, Math became a monster he could not tame. It gave us nightmares and endless bouts of anxiety. He sailed through Chinese and passed all his English subjects but Math remained the Kraken of our dreams. If not for tutors who gave him one-on-one sessions, he would have lost his GIA scholarship.

Sadly, those tutors, former co-teachers of mine, left for heaven and for greener pastures. Now, as the new school year unfolds, Domeng and I will rely on the Math extension classes provided by the school. Just like last year, we will hound our eldest to habitually study for Math longer and harder than any other subject. Then again, what he needs is a Math intervention session. I console myself with the knowledge that he has Math teachers who are an unwavering lot, giving more than what is expected.

These are the thoughts that weighed on me this morning when I dropped him off at Xavier School. He looked so cute and chubby when he was a primary student in the early 2000's. A decade after, he's a lanky teen with an uncanny sense of humor. Thanks to his father's genes, his chances of growing up uptight and darkly serious is slim. He has pimples growing on his face now so Cetaphil is an added item in our grocery list of must haves. He complained of the heavy backpack and the thick envelope bag he lugged on to school this morning. Yet, he was thankful for the availability of lockers. If only he knew how I worry of his school things getting lost. For a mother, teaching a boy order and responsibility is not a walk in the park. So, I let the man of the house teach him these values. A boy will always need a father.

And boy, am I so glad to have Rey Aude as his class adviser this school year. Responsibility, order and a father-like image. These are qualities that Mr. Aude have. I'm confident that in his last year in the grade school, he will be appropriately taken cared of.

As I watch him enter gate four of Xavier School, I placed an imaginary thought bubble on his head that has these ideas: school fair, Flexible Curriculum, ECA clubs, PE classes, Ignite, outreach activities and field trips. I don't think he will be thinking of academics. He would remember, at the end of every day, how his teachers behaved and what attitude his rich and sheltered classmates displayed. I could be wrong though. He would be telling us stories at dinner time on new "stuff" and the frivolous things that mean the world to a teenager like him. And we would listen, amazed and fearful at the same time.

Later I will fetch him. I will put aside the roles I play so well and become mom again. I will ask him how his day had been; how the first day of school went on as usual; the highlights and lowlights of his day. He will give me vague answers, as always. Then a few seconds of silence will pass between us and he will tell me stories that seem mundane to a working parent like myself. And yet, if I listen carefully, there lies a diamond of an insight or an alarming note of concern to his words and stories.

I look forward to hearing something funny from Nico later.

The Moses in All of Us

2010-06-15T09:49:00.001+08:00

When Manny Blas first gave a talk on leadership and service in the Community Celebration last May, I missed it with great regret. Moses is a childhood favorite. I’ve read his story countless times. I would watch Charlseton Heston play the part in many Lenten shows year after year after year. My daughter, Zoe, would often pop the VCD of Dreamworks’ Prince of Egypt in the player and we would watch together. It’s a Moses love fest, I tell you. His is an archetype for all ages and for all time. His courage and faith in God is truly inspiring.

So, when Domeng and I learned that Manny Blas would speak once more on Moses, we gave our word to our Shepherd couple to come.

It was an evening that poured gratitude and graces.

Manny Blas is one of the best speaker/facilitator I’ve met so far. He shared stories of conversion and personal epiphanies yet he was sensitive to the audience’s non-verbal messages. He knew when to talk and when to shut up. Best of all, he was very spontaneous. I learned a lot from him that Thursday night.

In the small group sharing, I was amazed at how effortless we answered the questions. I was not surprised at all to find similarities in the output among the groups. The call to service and leadership is being heeded. There are signs that faith lives in action. This was further manifested during the big group sharing of courageous and “volunteered” Magis Deo members. There are many who’ve found God; who’ve chosen to love; who’ve decided to serve. They rejoice in this discovery despite the fear and the hurt that loving and serving entail.

Moses is alive in all of us.

I came home that night identifying myself with the Moses who has seen the seasons of youth. I am the Moses who has fallen and who is currently in a state of vulnerability. Once again I am thankful for the failures that knocked me down or else, I would have been too blind to see how wonderfully God works in my life.

Moses was able to lead his people out of bondage because he allowed God to lead him. Like the humbled Moses, I go forth into my Egypt knowing and believing in a just and powerful God.

Sagada and Bohol

2010-05-25T09:42:00.003+08:00

I have posted a day to day travel diary of the Sagada and Bohol trips that Dianne and I finished with flying colors in my library blog. Here are the links!

Sagada Day 1
Rice Terraces trekking and bathing at Bomod-ok Falls
Panglao Island, Bohol Part 1
Inland Tour of Bohol Part 2

The trip was a once in a lifetime opportunity. I'm hopeful to bring my family either to Sagada or to Bohol in the near future.

Sagada Trip May 2010

2010-05-15T16:06:00.001+08:00

Here are selected photos. I'm doing a travelogue on the trip. Day 1 of the Sagada adventure is in my library blog.

Live blogging: Baguio at Dawn

2010-05-11T04:53:00.003+08:00

I'm on my way to Sagada with Dianne de Las Casas and Yumi Pitargue with friends. We're enjoying breakfast at Chow King right now and munching on Krispy Kreme's Mango Cream.

The ride to Baguio was fast and smooth that we all slept on our way. Ah, the advantage of riding De Luxe. I awoke when the bus began winding up. The mountain side was peppered with bright lights like fireflies alighting a bush. And then, I saw the moon, a thin crescent on the black velvet sky. It was a beautiful sight.

Very soon, the sun will rise in Baguio City and we'll all be witnesses to its busyness. I'm looking forward to the road trip up Sagada. I have my camera ready. Here's hoping that wifi is available so I can blog!

Authors Are Real

2010-05-09T23:02:00.005+08:00

One advantage I get being in the Children's Literature industry is to have my kids exposed to books they love and the writers who wrote them. Nico and Zoe always get the privilege to have books autographed by Luis and Augie. Last Saturday, Zoe met Dianne de Las Casas, international storyteller and author.

Dianne is in town for workshops and trips in the Philippine country side for our book, Tales From the 7,000 Isle: Filipino Folklore. We'll be going up north to Sagada to do research and gather folktales, take pictures and touch base with our Filipino roots. Dianne's mom is Filipino. After Sagada, we'll fly to Bohol to gather more stories in the Visayan region.

Wish us luck and a safe trip!

First Time In Palawan

2010-05-02T19:59:00.004+08:00

When the plane landed in Puerto Princesa, Palawan on the morning of April 28, 2010, I braced myself for bustling and hustling at the baggage belt. It's the middle of summer. Peak season. True enough, I waited for ten minutes to get my baggage. Sigh...the disadvantage of checking in early.

The moment I went out the doors of the airport's arrival area, I smelled cashew. The fruity smell and not the nutty smell. I learned later that day that Roxas, the town next to Puerto Princesa, is the haven of cashew trees in the island. The early morning down pour wafted the smell towards Puerto Princesa. What a trivial discovery, yet relevant in knowing the local history of Palawan. Sometimes, you have to listen to the stories that circulate around common folk or the ones that tour guides tell. Such snippets can be spring boards for future stories.

Mt. Irawan provides Puerto Princesa with fresh water. Yearly, trees are planted on the mountain. Trees and plants grow healthy by the road side. Mangroves are common. The earth is colored red. Puerto Princesa is not spared of summer's searing temperature. But, there's enough oxygen from the plant life and the wind from the sea that refreshed and gave this Manila girl hope and breaths of fresh air.

I ate lato salad, fish that was the morning's fresh catch and fruits picked from orchards. Healthy diet, yes. Then again, rice was aplenty and with the grilled menu, I just could not resist asking for extra. Diets be damned, yes.

There are still plenty to see in Puerto Princesa. My stay there was work related. As I packed for home, I wished to go back with the hubby and the kids in tow. When will that be, I don't know but I hope we could all get in a plane ride and fly away for a much needed family vacation.

More Mindoro Moments

2010-04-24T19:32:00.004+08:00

The last two days in Mindoro can be described in three words -- friends, fun and family.

In Nauhan, we met Kuya Ed's siblings, in-laws and extended family. Our BCGG was treated to the Macalalad hospitality which was nothing short of warmth. Food was aplenty as well as laughter and yes, spirits from heaven and from the bottle. In the evening, we had our scheduled prayer meeting. How deep and meaningful were the sharing of each member. The trip was indeed a meaningful experience and each member had a special image of God as He made His presence felt in nature.

Despite the noise and the crowd in Puerto Galera, I realized the importance of going to a quiet place. To commune with nature is one way to wonder at God's creation and His love for man. At this stage in my life, my definition of rest and recreation is to go to a quiet place to find God in silence. Now I understood why Jesus prayed so much and so alone most of the time. I am not God, but I could desire for this prayerful disposition.

Our group also had the opportunity to hear mass. People in the locality looked at us in weird glances. Manila people. Picture here. Picture there. After this, we hit the beach again in Gloria. It was in Bali Resort where I truly enjoyed the music of the waves and breathing of the sea. That night, we all stayed up late for a last round of "kwentuhan" and "tawanan".

How time flies when you're having fun. We were all quietly absorbed in our own thoughts on our way back to Manila the following day. The excitement of the trip has waned but memories of that long weekend in Mindoro are for the books. There is reason to save up for family trips and vacations.

Puerto Galera in Pictures (2 of 2)

2010-04-16T00:01:00.000+08:00

Glee: The Way They Were

2010-04-15T09:17:00.001+08:00

Puerto Galera in Pictures (1 of 2)

2010-04-14T00:00:00.000+08:00

Mindoro Trip: Puerto Galera in April (1 of 2)

2010-04-13T14:48:00.009+08:00

Puerto Galera is a little Boracay.

It is noisy, crowded and commercial. White Beach boasts of shops that sell everything that's consumable in a man-made island paradise -- food, beverages, clothes and beach wear, rooms in all sizes, produce from land and sea, beach toys, tattoos for life and for one's fancy, services offered by hairdressers, masseuses and pimps in the locality and by those who came all the way from Manila. Beach lovers from near and far frolic on the sand, by the sea under the spell of the summer heat.

This welcomed me and Papadoms, along with four other couples in our community, when we arrived there early this month for a weekend get away. The sight of it all overwhelmed me because, I was expecting an idyllic white sand beach lined with rustic cottages. Such fantasies belong to summer travelogues and online ads. All the activities going on in the beach dizzied me. There was an energy that sucked my life force out. When dusk came, the beach front exude a stronger energy I was no longer prepared to receive. How old have I become?

A common city slicker like myself would normally spring to life and partake in the action from sun up to sun down. But no, I was like a boiled eggplant when night came. I lay on the cool sand between dreamland and reality. While the long stretch of beach was aflame, I was a crab burying itself in the sand. So it seemed that I have had enough recreation in my thirty five years of living. I was craving for rest and a slow, silence induced stroll along a quiet beach.

Fortunately, I got my heart's desire when we all went island hopping the following day. My island adventure with Papadoms truly began.

I've been to many boat rides, but with Papadoms beside me, I declined wearing a life vest until he insisted. He's a very good swimmer. Holding his hand while we sat quietly, enjoying the sights of emerald islets and islands was comforting. I breathed in the sea and the salty water that flavored the air. That instant, I felt the stupor disappear. Then we reached the coral reefs. It took Kuya EdMac a lot of prodding for us to snorkel. Nevertheless, we found ourselves in snorkeling gear and testing the shallow waters.

The born Aquarian, Papadoms took the water so easily. I struggled learning how to use the snorkeling gear. After two quick dips and glimpses at the beautiful marine life in the reefs, I gave up. I sucked in sea water in gulps! I love beaches, but I am no mermaid. So I sat on the boat that we rented and looked over the waters. I spotted three varieties of starfishes; gazed at an eel; bedazzled by a pink jellyfish dancing in its own aquatic music; admired the corals that offered an array of colors and shapes; and feed the fishes that have grown accustomed to man. It was a beautiful experience!

After the snorkeling escapade, we went island hopping where we swam in cool waters and basked under the sun. Time flies when your having fun so they say. At noon, we headed back to White Beach for lunch and a quick packing of things and gears. It was time to say goodbye to Puerto Galera. Another beach and bonding adventure awaited us in Naujan and Gloria, Mindoro.

Glee! Glee! Glee!

2010-04-07T17:05:00.000+08:00

Strengthening Family Values in The Modern World

2010-04-04T16:22:00.006+08:00

In the morning of April 1, 2010, Maundy Thursday, Domeng and I hurried to the AFP Theatre at Camp Aguinaldo to attend this year’s Lenten Recollection by the Marriage Encounter Foundation of the Philippines (MEFP). Tagging along were our two kids, Nico and Zoe. We did not regret bringing them to the recollection. Young as they are, both were able to relate to the topics of the recollection. What’s more, this is one of the few events we could all go as a family. The themes of family values and how these can strengthen the nuclear family of today’s society were aptly discussed by a host of competent speakers, all blessed by God to evangelize and to spread His word.

A Soldier of God

The first speaker was Bro. Chito Jongco of the Catholic Evangelists of the Archdiocese of Manila. He talked about the Christian Home and God’s design for the family. Jongco imparted the important roles that a father and a mother must play in order to raise children in a Christian family despite the challenges and trappings of the modern world. Parents who have faith in God are capable of rearing children who will grow up as God fearing. For many of us, we all know this stuff, but what made Jongco’s session remarkable was his personal testimony of conversion.

A former military man during the Martial Law years, Jongco lived a life of excess and lawlessness. He had everything – guns, goons and gold. Wine and women were aplenty. Substance abuse was a hobby. He led a life of duplicity. His badge was a symbol of peace and order, yet it meant an access to the underworld. His wife and children were mere accessories.

Then one day, in 1989, an accident that involved his eight year-old son turned him inside out. Truth and justice caught up with him. The law of man could be vindictive and unmerciful. But there was God’s law that speaks of forgiveness, compassion and penance. He had a chance at redemption. His prayerful wife urged him to receive confession. For the first time in his married life, he listened and followed the admonition of his wife.

For most of us, we seek our parish priest or our spiritual director when we decide to receive the sacrament of reconciliation. Bro. Chito Jongco sought the priest but was led to the bishop for confession. His penance was to feed forty families every year and to do the work of God. Since then, he has been in service for God and man.

Such was his life story. I was reminded of Paul, Augustine and Ignatius. Jongco, however, is no saint. Then again, his life is a perfect example at how God works and deals with His creation. In His time, He makes all things beautiful.

Catholics as Agents of Change

Fr. Anton CT Pascual, of Radio Veritas, followed the talk on the Christian family and the social mission of the Church. Now this was something new, at least to me. It was his session that I found most interesting and provocative.

According to Fr. Anton, the Catholic Church proposes social teachings that began in the early nineteenth century. There are in fact twelve documents to support this. To quote Fr. Anton, “these Catholic Social Teachings are discernible body of official Catholic doctrines on the world order in its economic, social, cultural, and political dimensions.” It is anchored on the paradigm that, as Catholics, we need to SEE, to JUDGE (based on faith) and to ACT on issues, concerns, conflicts and problems that befall our families, our society, the nation and the global community. As Christians, there is a social dimension to our existence. Our prayers must lead us towards palpable solutions that would make our internal and external worlds better places to dwell in. More than the shaping of our homes into God-fearing abodes, with each family member cognizant of God’s love and presence, we all must be instruments in transforming our communities and humanity, at large, into proactive Catholics.

I’ve heard these before in many an Ignatian seminar and formation sessions: Contemplatives in Action. Yet, Fr. Anton presented the themes that surround the Catholic Social Teachings in such fresh perspectives that it was inevitable to link this new cognition into old ones. In education, when connections happen between blocks of knowledge, it means one thing -- learning is taking place.

In order to partake in the social mission of the Catholic Church, Fr. Anton encouraged the MEFP congregation to fortify the bonds that tie each member of the family. He has three prerequisites.

a. Promote the self-esteem and self-confidence of each family member;
b. Relate to the needs of each family member;
c. Help each family member become caring and loving persons.

These requirements could actually go hand in hand with the
family’s participation in an apostolate and/or ministry. If burying one’s talents is a sin, then insulating and isolating one’s family from the world is sinning as well. Fr. Anton shared concrete ways for the family, and the community that it belongs, to prevent itself from committing this act of selfishness.

a. Regularly invite the family to join social action;
b. Exposure to advocacies and socio-political situations is crucial;
c. Invite families to social concerns that are with in their capabilities;
d. Integrate fun and play in social action;
e. In immersions and out reach activities that involve families, the idea is “doing with” not “doing for”;
f. Social actions must be focused on works of mercy, justice and development.

In the end, Fr. Anton cited Matthew 25:45 to remind us all that
salvation is not in the rituals nor the statues but on how we treat the least and the lost.

Couple Power in Action

The last speakers of the day were a husband and wife team from the Bukas Loob sa Dios Marriage Encounter Community. Bro. Vic and Sis. Ditas Espanol, both counselors and evangelists from the Light of Jesus Catholic Charismatic Group rendered practical strategies in building a loving family. Sis. Ditas provided the tips and tools to a caring, sensitive and loving family. Bro. Vic amplifies them by culling out real stories from his counseling work and his own family too. The result was effective and endearing.

In order to nurture and nourish caring and loving family members, parents need to remember six characteristics only. These were smartly formulated in a mnemonic that was appropriately put together as F.A.M.I.L.Y.

F – Family time and identity. Parents must be present in the lives of their children no matter how busy they are.
A – Affirmation and encouragement. Self-esteem and self-respect grow in a positive environment.
M – Meaningful communication. Parents must be sensitive to verbal and non-verbal cues of their children.
I – Intimacy between husband and wife. Children are happiest when they see their parents “in-love” with one another.
L – Loving acts of service. Charity begins at home. The time that parents allot for their children in the little chores and big responsibilities in their lives spell a big difference in values formation.
Y – “Yakap”. Touch is powerful. Hug. Embrace. Hold each other.

As a parting shot, Bro. Vic stressed the relevance of filling up our lives only with the necessities through a jar and stone demonstration aided by his son Martin. To live a life, we only need the basics – God and family. Everything else is mere embellishment and filler. These are things we can live with out.

This year’s MEFP Lenten Recollection was, for me, the most meaningful yet. I was with my family. We listened and prayed with other families in the marriage encounter community. Congratulations to the Pagsibol Marriage Encounter Foundation for an organized and relevant recollection. The afternoon session ended with the traditional Stations of the Cross and a mass concelebrated by Fr. Reuben Tanseco SJ and Fr. Anton CT. Pascual. Bro. Robert and Sis. Tinette Aventujado, couple president of MEFP, invited interested marriage encounter communities to sponsor next year’s recollection. Here’s hoping that among the one hundred marriage encounter communities belonging to the MEFP, one will be brave enough to step up in leading the congregation closer to God.

The First Quarter of 2010

2010-03-27T08:53:00.003+08:00

Just a few months back, I was blogging about the New Year. I turned and looked around. It's already the March. The first quarter of the year is ending.

It's been a first quarter of highs and lows. What else is new? I'm still up and about so, thanks to God! Here are photos taken from January to March that sum up my life and my family's so far.

Couples For Others

2010-03-09T17:34:00.002+08:00

Our BCGG (Basic Christian Growth Group), Mt. Olivet of the Magis Deo Community had an outreach activity last Sunday, 7 March 2010 in Gawad Kalinga Aya-Multinational Village, Paranaque. We gave a session on KAAYUSAN (orderliness) as part of the ten track values formation program of the GK community development plan. It was a hot and steamy morning yet, we all discovered the joy and delight in serving others.

For Nico, who will soon be thirteen next month

2010-02-24T08:52:00.003+08:00

I brought Nico to school today
I watched him walk away from me
At the corner of Madison St. and Ortigas Ave.
He was swallowed by people
Rushing to school
To work

And the traffic that began to grow heavy at 7:15
Totally hid him from my view

I turned to get a ride
Off to my own busyness
For the rest of the day I will wonder
And my thoughts will wander
To the boy I bore to this world
Who is quickly changing before my eyes

The Avatar That I Have Been Waiting For

2010-02-23T12:17:00.000+08:00

Flowers

2010-02-12T09:32:00.003+08:00

It's not everyday that I get flowers. So when I receive some, it makes my day. Thanks to the students and faculty of St. Theresa's College, Quezon City. They gave me two bouquets of flowers for my storytelling session there yesterday. Yes, "feeling beauty queen" ako kahapon. Colleagues cajoled and teased when I dropped by the foundation afterward. Some were even envious. Others were curios.

One top level administrator even greeted me happy birthday. The ED's sibling had the gall to conclude I bought the flowers for myself. Why not? Love thy self. It's the greatest love of all.

Bottom line is, everybody loves flowers, or at least, seeing them arranged so aesthetically. The cab driver was hard pressed not to give me a ride. A lady with two bouquets of flowers, a box of cake, two bags and a package of Ana Pashmina surely deserves a ride home after a day's work.

Flowers are a symbol of life's great forces. It's a bed of love if you think about it. It's where reproduction takes place; where fruits of life are turned to seed. That's why there are flowers for birthdays and baptisms; during weddings and anniversaries; in hospital desks and cemeteries.

Storytelling is a celebration of life. That's why I was given flowers.

American Idol Season 9: Early Favorites

2010-02-11T09:32:00.000+08:00

The four of us were glued to the TV last night watching Hollywood Week of this season's American Idol. In between the administering of Zoe's medications and the tending of her wounds' dressing, we picked out our early favorites from the Hollywood auditions. The three of us - Papadoms, Nico and myself, all agree on the inclusion of Didi Benami, Andrew Garcia and Casey James for Top 24.

Though these three have celeb look-a-likes or sound-a-likes, it might just work for their AI bid to the finals. Didi reminds me of The Cranberries lead vocalist or an early Gwen Stefani during her No Doubt days. Andrew is a Danny Gokey replica but I believe he is a better vocalist. Casey James is Brad Pitt's long lost younger bro.

It would be exciting to see them work with other people in tonight's episode. I'm hoping that all my bets will push through the Top 24.

As for Ellen DeGeneres -- oh, WE LOVE HER HUMOR! She diffuses Simon Cowell's sarcasm!

Storytelling @ IS Manila

2010-02-08T17:36:00.005+08:00

Thanks to Rebecca Pierce of IS Manila for sending my way these fantastic photos of my storytelling workshop with grade one students there.

I had a grand time! The pictures say so!

Storyteller

View more presentations from rebmarie.

Prayer Power = Power of Love*

2010-01-29T09:09:00.001+08:00

I must have been watching too many Glee episodes of late that one song from the hit TV show has become my shower song. It goes likes this:

The moment I wake up / Before I put on my makeup / I say a little pray for you / While combing my hair now / And wondering what dress to wear now / I say a little prayer for you

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart / and I will love you /Forever, and ever, we never will part / Oh, how I love you / Together, forever, that's how it must be / To live without you / Would only mean heartbreak for me.

Sounds familiar? It’s no wonder if you hummed along. Yes, it’s the Aretha Franklin classic that speaks of two powerful entities that can move mountains, fill up gaps and build bridges. Love and Prayer.

We pray for those who are dear to us. People we truly care about are always in our prayers. We pray on matters and things that we hold valuable. We pray for the many useless anxieties that break our every waking moment. We pray for graces and blessings. We pray with gratitude. We pray to be absolved. We pray to a God who never gets tired listening to our troubles. When you think about it, prayer is an intimate expression of love between God and man.

I remember a time when I could not pray. Hard as I try, I could not strike a simple conversation with God. Even the structured prayer taught by the Jesuits was a chore for me to do. It seemed that I had ran out of graces to ask for. Body prayer didn’t help either. There was no way to begin a dialogue with God. It was a dry spell.

Then came the BCGG interface with John and the spell was lifted. Tita Ana Alfonso began by asking God to intervene in our thoughts and body. It was so simple. In between deep breaths, she simply asked God to teach us all how to pray. I never felt so alone yet so loved.

There I was crying, holding back the sounds that my sob created. My husband, immersed in his own meditation, was clueless on what was going on inside me. I felt an energy move in the room that rendered my consciousness helpless, however, I was filled with an overflowing joy. It was like a homecoming. I saw my ugly self yet I felt acceptance by the community who, unconsciously perhaps, was praying for me and with me.

I often look back at that experience with John. It is with gratitude that I do so in retrospect. It was one of those moments when God’s love and presence was made real to me in prayer and in the community’s devotion to reach in to other members.

Now I look at prayer meetings and BCGG interfaces in a new light. More than my need to share the good news of God and His blessings, there is a necessity to pray for others and with others. We always hear of MAGIS. We often speak of it in community celebrations, initiatives and projects. We do more and we give more – time; talent; treasure. I think we must also pray more, for ourselves, for each other, for the whole community that our spirituality may grow and deepen in God’s given time.

*For the February issue of the Magis Deo Newsletter.

A Hamster Story

2010-01-23T18:11:00.003+08:00

The first quarter of the year is a series of birthday celebrations. January is Zoe's. February is Papadom's. March is Nico's. I asked each of them their birthday plans. Nico simply wants a Facebook account. Papadoms, a restful day and a mass heard first thing in the morning. Zoe wants a hamster.

Now a hamster is quite costly. It's a pet we could not afford. Well, we can't afford a pet. Period. Instead, Zoe got some teasing and tears.

Papadoms: Ang hirap kaya alagaan ng hamster! (A hamster is no simple pet to take care of.)

Zoe: Eh, aalagaan ko nga. (I can take care of it!)

Papadoms: Talaga? Saan at paano mo paliliguan ang hamster? (Really? How would you give a hamster a bath? And where?)

Nico: Sa toilet! (In the toilet!)

Laughter every where. Zoe was already in tears.

Papadoms: Ay pwede. Tapos, ifa-flush natin! (That's possible. Then will flush it down the drain!)

Sigh. The many ways of loving.

37/100

2010-01-07T08:31:00.002+08:00

The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books here. How do your reading habits stack up?

Instructions: Copy this into your NOTES. Look at the list and then number the ones you have read, so by the end, you have your count. Tag other book geeks.

1 Pride and Prejudice - 1
2 The Lord of the Rings - 2
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte -
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling - 3
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee - 4
6 The Bible - 5 (old and new testaments)
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte -6
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell -
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman -7
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens - 8
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott -9
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy -
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller -
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare -
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier -
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien - 10
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk -
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger -11
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger -
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot -
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell -12
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald -
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens -
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy -
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams -
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky -
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck - 13
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll - 14
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame -
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy -
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens -
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis -15
34 Emma - Jane Austen -
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen -
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis -16
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini -
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres -
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden - 17
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne -18
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell -
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown - 19
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez - 20
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving -
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins -
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery -21
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy -
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood -
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding - 22
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan -
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel -
52 Dune - Frank Herbert -
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons -
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen - 23
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth -
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon -
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens - 24
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley -
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night - Mark Haddon -25
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez -
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck - 26
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov -
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt -
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold -
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas -
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac -
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy -
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding -
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie –
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville -
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens -27
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker - 28
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett -29
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson -
75 Ulysses - James Joyce -
76 The Inferno – Dante-
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome -
78 Germinal - Emile Zola -
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray -
80 Possession - AS Byatt –
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens - 30
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell -
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker -
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro - 31
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert -
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry -
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White -32
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom - 33
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle -34
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton -35
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad -
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery - 36
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks -
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams -
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole -
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute -
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas -
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare -
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - 37
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo -

What else is there to say but, so many books so little time to read. Lame excuse. I know...

I am a GLEEK

2010-01-06T07:11:00.004+08:00

Confession: I only discovered Gleek early December of 2009. And now, I'm GLEEKED.

There are many things to love about the show; from the songs and production numbers, the deadpan humor, the bittersweet ironies that come with the cliched storyline and down to the terrific cast. Mr. Shu (Matthew Morrison) and Sue Sylvester are two of my favorite characters in the show. He's sweet. She's snarky.

And that's Glee. Mean. Wholesome. Irreverent. Brutally honest.

New Year's Death

2010-01-04T21:53:00.005+08:00

It was an awful way to start 2010.

I hit the sack at 1.30 AM on New Year's and woke up to a dazzling morning. When I checked my cellphone for messages received over the wee hours of the morning, I had the most alarming news yet. At 4.22 AM on January 1, our shepherd couple, Kuya Ed and Ate Sol Macalalad sent word asking for a cooler or an icebox to keep blood bought from Red Cross Pasig. Unluckily, we're holed in at my sister-in-law's at Cabuyao, Laguna since the 28th of December. Ate Sol's older brother, at that time they were searching for blood containers, was on an operation table fighting for dear life in a government hospital in Taguig City.

Replying back my apologies, Ate Sol sent word that her brother, Edgardo Mengorio, did not survive the operation.

It was a painful passing. More so, the manner in which her brother succumbed to death.

As told by Ate Sol, her brother was awoken at 12 midnight for the traditional Media Noche. A fight broke out in the neighborhood and her well meaning brother tried to cool down the teenagers involved. But teenagers can be a dangerous lot with the influence of something else and the confidence of a gang as back up. Edgardo was hit by a bottle of red horse right smack on the forehead then a stab on the right stomach finished him off. He was 50-50 when he reached the hospital.

At the wake, Kuya Ed theorized that had it been a private hospital that tended his brother-in-law, he would have survived with a loss of one leg, the right one since the stab wound punctured two arteries that ran down the leg. Edgardo would have taken a while to recuperate since the bladder and large intestines were severely cut. But, these can all be cured and mended with modern medical technology and the attention of professional health care providers.

The irony of the situation is that, the government hospital was ill equipped with facilities and human resources to function effectively and efficiently. This is a sad, sad story indeed. I am disheartened by the many tarpauline banners in Taguig City of its proud politicians and yet, basic health services are wanting.

I listened to Ate Sol's lament on her brother's suspected killers. The oldest was nineteen. The youngest was seventeen. What has happened to the programs that LGUs run for their youngsters? What of the families of these youth? What now of this country with families torn apart and communities broken? What is the future for Edagrdo's bereaved family? He left four sons. Three are still in school. His widow, a simple housewife.

I cry for Ate Sol's loss. I cry for those Edgardo left behind. I cry for the Filipino families and communities that we all have become.

Forever Advent*

2009-12-30T10:43:00.000+08:00

If I am not mistaken, it was poet Gemino Abad who wrote a poem entitled Forever Advent. It was a poem I have read many years ago, in fact, I have forgotten what the poem is all about. The title stuck, however, that I’m led to using it for this issue’s column.

How can one wait forever? Why waste time waiting? What is the worth of all the waiting? Why endure? What is there to wait for? Or better yet, who? These were the questions that racked my mind long after reading the poem. There was something painfully romantic about the endless waiting. Unresolved and unanswered, it remained somewhere at the recesses of my mind.

As a Catholic, I learned it down pat that Advent is a time of hope and great expectations. What with the Nativity story being retold over and over again. There is reason for rejoicing because God’s only son has been born to a world desperately in need of love, light and life. Beautiful, isn’t it? It is at Advent where I find myself in glee. A baby was born in a manger! Indeed, it is a more joyous image compared to a thirty three year old man dying on the cross alongside two thieves.

Yet, thinking about it, there is already pain in this celebration of life. Mary and Joseph knew that their son is not theirs. God has made the ultimate sacrifice. The Incarnation is no picnic. Every year at Christmas, we are reminded of this – God being man.

Fast forward to several decades, and I found myself discovering the answers to the same questions that disturbed me years ago. This happened while attending an Advent recollection online via http://pinsoflight.org.

I realized what all the waiting was for. Besides, it is not man who waits, but God. He has been waiting patiently, endlessly, lovingly for us to be Christ like; to surrender all our idols to Him; to quietly allow Him rebuild the ruins in our lives. Only God can do these things because He loves without conditions. For God, we’re worth waiting for despite our scars, our wounds and brokenness.

Oh, it is so easy to know these things. To actually reciprocate God’s love will take an eternity for man to do. Just a week before Christmas, God once again made real His love for me. Once again, I have successfully failed. Why is it too difficult for me to return these graces and blessings to people I claim to love?

I cling to hope. It’s the least I could do, for now, to my God who eternally waits for my advent.

*For the MAGIS DEO Newsletter

Bossing

2009-12-25T17:26:00.003+08:00

My daughter, Zoe got her wish for Christmas -- to watch Vic Sotto's movie, Ang Darling Kong Aswang. While queing for movie tickets, I asked her, "Di ba favorite mo si Bossing?"

She replied, "Idol!"

Nothing else follows. I rest my case.

My Former Spiritual Director

2009-12-22T14:24:00.002+08:00

Fr. Art Borja SJ, at his best! Have a humorous Christmas to one and all!

Brittany Murphy (1977-2009)

2009-12-21T10:44:00.002+08:00

Gloria has gone.

Movie Review: In My Life

2009-12-14T12:33:00.004+08:00

A long bus trip can offer these perks to the bored passenger: a view of the country side; an opportunity to get some sleep; a time to catch up on some reading; a movie to watch while enduring the long hours of doing nothing but sit and wait for the next pit stop. Though the movie, often chosen by the bus conductor, is not always as interesting as the passenger would hope for, it kills time.

I was fortunate to kill time for the rest of the two hour journey back to Manila from Baguio when the bus conductor popped a DVD copy of In My Life at the Tarlac-Pampanga route.

I liked it. I enjoyed it. And yes, I cried. I am indeed a Filipino!

Vilma Santos is still my superstar! John Llyod remains to be my matinee idol who could truly act. He shed his tears, as usual, yet his acting in this movie is tempered and quietly compelling. Luis Manzano, to me, is a revelation. In a scene where he cried over his disappointments to Vilma, I could not help but feel how true the whole scenario was -- in reel and real life. I also appreciate the beautiful depiction on the relationship of Luis and John Lloyd. No apologies. No guilt. They were simply two people in love. As for the kiss they shared, it was bittersweet. It seems to me that both guys were merely having a good time as actors.

While the movie's storyline appears to be predictable, there were twists and turns along the way to move the story forward. It's lame but forgivable because after all, the movie is really all about our human relationships. While it is filled with cliches and stereotypes nonetheless, it speaks of the average person's hopes, dreams and desires. I have not seen a Filipino movie in a long while, especially the ones commercially made but In My Life was worth enduring.

I identified mostly with Vilma Santos' character. Not because she plays a librarian. She is a mother and a wife, and I think, that's basically the central focus of the movie. This single mother, separated from her spouse must deal with all the issues and changing times that affect her relationships and her world views in the process. Yet, I also relate to John Lloyd'd character who loves and loved without reservations. The latter is what I hope to become, especially to my children who will grow up as their own persons.

In My Life is still the Filipino movie full of drama, shouting matches and face slapping episodes. Nonetheless, it's sensitively written and a well directed film.

In Baguio & Blogging

2009-12-10T21:10:00.003+08:00

I arrived in Baguio City today at 3PM. The weather is good and the welcome party at the city public library was very warm. I'll be here until tomorrow for a storytelling session and performance with invited school children of the city. Thanks to the librarians and the city government of Baguio City for hosting and sponsoring this event.

I had dinner at Oh My Gulay (OMG), Kidlat Tahimik's art cafe. Plus, I got a chance to meet the manager of BenCab's museum for a future book project. Ah, the perks of telling stories and traveling!

At OMG, I had a simple dinner of pasta, coffee and apple crepe for desert. The highlight of the experience is being able to look around the cafe. See the photos I took --

WANTED: Part Time Storyteller

2009-12-09T12:10:00.003+08:00

I got a want ad for a part time storyteller last week via email. This is the content of the email -

Please contact me at 09392356626/09269633293. Good for people with a day job because it's per project basis. No prior experience necessary.

The message was sent via an egroup, from another egroup. The original message came from this email add - philo11mhv18trixie@yahoo.com.

And because I do storytelling, I took the bait. I texted the numbers given above. I was instructed by a certain Patricia to meet with her in front of Teriyaki Boy, Madison Square in Greenhills, San Juan at 7PM on December 5, 2009.

I was there at 6:59PM. No Patricia. I waited for thirty minutes until I realized that the want ad is not the storytelling I had in mind.

There were groups of people from GLOBAL FUSION that Saturday night though. They were doing their own business. One young lady was orienting her recruits in a table where I sat nearby. I saw her clearbook, a blazing look in her eyes as she explains the benefits of engaging in such a business. She was very emphatic, especially on the possible return of investments and additional earnings. And yes, the perks that go with selling the "health products" were presented as well.

I've seen too many of these businesses in my ripe old age of thirty five. I did not flourish in such an endeavor. In fact, I have made some wrong decisions when I did engage in some of that sort. To this day, I regret ever participating in one.

MAGIS DEO Family Day 2009

2009-12-07T19:26:00.001+08:00

Memories light the corners of my mind

2009-12-03T08:03:00.000+08:00

I was a guest speaker/facilitator in a seminar-workshop at my Alma Mater last week. Being in Pateros Catholic School (PCS) after nineteen years was a strange experience. For one, the school changed a lot! It looked small and compact. Two, most of my teachers in grade school and high school have either left or moved on. And three, it felt odd being treated as a guest by my former grade three Reading teacher who is now the school's principal.

But there are so many things to be happy about.

One, my school is already PAASCU accredited. Two, my grade six teacher in Filipino, Mrs. Flery Natividad-Guevara, is now the licensed librarian of the grade school library. Three, I met my batch mate in grade school who teaches there as well. Last, the whole experience of going back and giving back was completing a life cycle.

I've gone full circle. And with it is the remembrance of childhood days spent in the parochial confines of Catholic education.

In grade one, I was the second smallest girl in class. I remember being friends with John-John, a boy who had a runny nose all the time and colored his chickens red. I colored mine brown even though I was very familiar with the story of the Little Red Hen. That Christmas of my first grade in PCS, my teacher, Mrs. Pagkalinawan discovered that I could sing. She had me join the annual singing contest and won second place with my rendition of Silent Night. There was an audition before the contest so I had to regale the judges with the Christmas Alphabet. Thanks to my musically inclined mother and my very artistic aunt. The costume went well with the song choice.

By grade two, my health went down hill. I was often absent in class.

It did not improve in third grade, but I managed to work extra hard for missed classes that I reached the top ten of the class. My third grade teacher, Mrs. Aquino, died late that year.

In grade four I made it to the "pilot class" where the smartest and prettiest compete and converge. I wondered what I was doing there but enjoyed the company of the privileged. It was the Bagets year. Aga Muhlach was the poster of that generation. I collected his photos cut from magazines. Raymond Lauchengco and William Martinez suited my fancy as well. Yep. Grade four and a certified fan girl.

Fifth grade had to be the most unforgettable year. I failed Math. Big time. To get a 74 in the report card amongst the best and brightest crushed me completely. Mr. Bautista, my grade five Math teacher taught me a lesson I value to this day -- that one should not sit on one's laurels. I never recovered from my aversion in Math. It shows at my terrible love affair with dates, numbers, scheduling and yes, keeping a budget. But I did understand, only in later years, the meaning of failure.

Bouncing back in sixth grade was not easy. Yet, I survived and graduated. Looking back, I learned tenacity and resiliency in PCS earlier on. I also had the blessing of seeing the worst in me. I came face to face with my own demons but this I realized only recently. It helps me survive. It helps me understand myself more. It helps me overcome them, these demons I call my own.

In retrospect, I had the best teachers in PCS. Mrs. Flery-Natividad Guevara is among them. She was my Filipino teacher and always commented how stylishly written my compositions were though neatness was much to be desired from my formal themes. Apart from this, she stands out because, she has shown her class advisees that the pilot class can be trumped. I did not belong to her homeroom but I was awed when her class, grade six Fortitude won the newspaper drive several times over grade six Love, the "pilot section". What does this experience taught me? That those in the hetero section can rise above mediocrity. With enough determination and focus, the ordinary student can excel in his or her own uniqueness.

Learning does not completely rest on the grades a student gets. My teachers taught me the basics - reading, writing and arithmetic. Best of all, they taught me what life is like and how to live it well. I owe a lot to PCS.

St. Francis Xavier, Pray for us!*

2009-11-27T12:07:00.001+08:00

I am writing this a few days before the feast of St. Francis Xavier, the patron saint of missions and missionaries.

Xavier, like Ignatius, fell madly in love with God that he turned his back to a privileged life as a noble man. What in God’s wonder and grace did Xavier discover that made him decide to pursue his apostolate and evangelize Asia? Perhaps I will never know since one’s relationship with God is often unique and very personal. Maybe it can be gleaned in the literature that abound or in the many faith stories that litter the Internet. On the one hand, what I can take from Xavier’s life is the perfect example of discernment. In the Ignatian formation, discernment involves a process of repetitive patterns of awareness and a constant deepening of prayer life.

Xavier had a healthy spiritual life that he knew what was God’s plan for him. On top of that, he knew who God is and clearly saw His presence moving in and out of his life. Now that’s what he got being Ignatius’ BFF (Best Friend Forever).

Cognizant of this spiritual tenacity of St. Francis Xavier, I am moved to re-examine my own relationship with the God I know. What a perfect way to do just that this Advent season. More than basking in the glimmer and glitter of Christmas, I feel it necessary to attend an Advent recollection – to slow down after a year filled with stress, tears and weariness. This world and its many attachments have the power to wean me away from the God who loves me. The effect is pretty confusing. I still ask, most of the time really, what my life’s mission is. It is easy to know what one needs and wants from this life. But what is God’s?

I wonder what is God trying to tell me? What does God want me to do? Often, the answers to my questions lead me back to the strengthening of my prayer life for it is in prayerful silence where God reveals Himself. Sadly, I have consistently failed in this department. But I take heart because, as much as there are plenty of distractions in the outside world, God manifests His promise of eternal love in numerous ways; in prayer, in the scripture, in the preaching of the church, in the community I break bread with, in the lives of the saints.

Indeed, St. Francis Xavier’s life story is a powerful testimony to the existence of a living and loving God. His spiritual journey gives me hope, faith and the courage to love despite my own flaws. I do not aspire to be a saint, goodness! Yet, his spirituality, his way of loving, his discovered mysticism is enough to guide me in my own spiritual quest.

*For the December Issue of the Magis Deo Newsletter

Rob Pattinson In Remember Me

2009-11-23T12:34:00.002+08:00

Glad that RPatz is in this movie. The change is good.

I'm now Twilight weary (must be the Twilight Fanfic that clutter the Internet!) , but not with Rob!

What's with Mt. Olivet?

2009-11-07T16:49:00.004+08:00

Since 2006, our BCGG, Mt. Olivet, has been very active in the marriage encounter ministry of the MAGIS DEO Community that it baffles council elders. How do members of Mt. Olivet, who are geographically far apart, could actually meet twice a week for prayer meetings, attend community celebrations every first Friday and participate in outreach activities when called for?

There is nothing special in us, BCGG Mt. Olivet.

Yet, I would like to think that in our imperfections and limitations God is at work in each of us that we all are available at the given time. If this is a way of loving, then I pray that we all continue to grow in spirituality.

To Noynoy from Ninoy

2009-11-03T19:57:00.001+08:00

Got this from my email's inbox --

This is a letter of Ninoy Aquino to his son, Noynoy, 36 years ago. This letter was released by the Aquino family on 09-09-09 when Noynoy proclaimed his candidacy to run as President of the Philippines. Noynoy's decision to accept the call for him to run for President is his reply to his father, 36 years after Ninoy wrote to him from his prison cell. A true hero!

August 25, 1973
Fort
11:30pm

Mr. Benigno S.. Aquino III
P E R S O N A L

My dearest Son:

One of these days , when you have completed your studies I am sure you will have the opportunity to visit many countries. And in your travels you will witness a bullfight.

In Spanish bullfighting as you know, a man, the matador, is pitted against an angry bull. The man goads the bull to extreme anger and madness. Then a moment comes when the bull, maddened, bleeding and covered
with darts, feeling his last moment has come, stops rushing about and grimly turns his face on the man with the scarlet "muleta" and sword. The Spaniards call this "the moment of truth." This is the climax of the bullfight.

This afternoon, I have arrived at my own moment of truth. After a lengthy conference with my lawyers, Senators Jovito R. Salonga and Lorenzo M. Tanada I made a very crucial and vital decision that will surely affect all our lives: mommie's, your sisters' , yours and all our loved ones as well as mine.

I have decided not to participate in the proceedings of the Military Commission assigned to try the charges filed
against me by the army prosecution staff. As you know, I've been charged with illegal possession of firearms,
violation of RA 1700 otherwise known as the "Anti-Subversion Act" and murder.

You are still too young to grasp the full impact of my decision. Briefly: by not participating in the proceedings, I will not be represented by counsel, the prosecution will present its witnesses without any cross examinations, I will not put up any defense, I will remain passive and quiet through the entire trial and I will merely await the verdict. Inasmuch as it will be a completely one-sided affair, I suppose it is reasonable to expect the maximum penalty will be given to me. I expect to be sentenced to imprisonment the rest of my natural life, or possibly be sent to stand before a firing squad. By adopting the course of action I decided upon this afternoon, I have literally decided to walk into the very jaws of death.

You may ask: why did you do it? Son, my decision is an act of conscience. It is an act of protest against the structures of injustice that have been imposed upon our hapless countrymen. Futile and puny, as it will surely appear to many, it is my last act of defiance against tyranny and dictatorship.

You are my only son. You carry my name and the name of my father. I have no material wealth to leave you. I never had time to make money while I was in the hire of our people. For this I am very sorry. I had hopes of building a little nest egg for you. I bought a ranch in Masbatein the hope that after ten or fifteen years, the coconut trees I planted there would be yielding enough to assure you a modest but comfortable existence.

Unfortunately, I had to sell all our properties as I fought battle after political battle as a beleaguered member of the opposition. And after the last battle, I had more obligations than assets. The only valuable asset I can bequeath to you now is the name you carry. I have tried my best during my years of public service to keep that name untarnished and respected, unmarked by sorry compromises for expediency. I now pass it on to you, as good, I pray, as when my father, your grandfather passed it on to me.

I prepared a statement which I intend to read before the military commission on Monday at the opening of my trial. I hope the commission members will be understanding and kind enough to allow me to read my statement into the record. This may well be my first and only participation in the entire proceedings. In this statement, I said: Some people suggested that I beg for mercy from the present powers that be. Son, this I cannot do in conscience. I would rather die on my feet with honor, than live on bended knees in shame.

Your great grandfather, Gen. Servilliano Aquino was twice condemned to death by both the Spaniards and the American colonizers. Fortunately, he survived both by a twist of fate. Your grandfather, my father was also imprisoned by the Americans because he loved his people more than the Americans who colonized us. He was finally vindicated. Our ancestors have shared the pains, the sorrows and the anguish of Mother Filipinas when she was in bondage. It is a rare privilege for me to join the Motherland in the dark dungeon where she was led back by one of her own sons whom she lavished with love and glory.

I ended my statement thus: I have chosen to follow my conscience and accept the tyrant's revenge.

It takes little effort to stop a tyrant. I have no doubt in the ultimate victory of right over wrong, of evil over good, in the awakening of the Filipino.

Forgive me for passing unto your young shoulders the great responsibility for our family. I trust you will love your mother and your sisters and lavish them with the care and protection I would have given them.

I was barely fifteen years old when my father died. His death was my most traumatic experience. I loved and
hero-worshipped him so much, I wanted to join him in his grave when he passed away. But as in all sorrows, eventually they are washed away by the rains of time.

In the coming years, I hope you will study very hard so that you will have a solid foundation on which to build your future. I may no longer be around to give you my fatherly advice. I have asked many of your uncles to help you along should the need arise and I pray you will have the humility to drink from their fountain of experiences.

Look after your two younger sisters with understanding and affection. Viel and Krissy will need your umbrella of protection for a long time. Krissy is still very young and fate has been most unkind to both of us. Our parting came too soon. Please make up for me. Take care of her as I would have taken care of her with patience and warm affection.

Finally, stand by your mother as she stood beside me through the buffeting winds of crisis and uncertainties firm and resolute and uncowed. I pray to God, you inherit her indomitable spirit and her rare brand of silent courage.

I had hopes of introducing you to my friends, showing you the world and guide you through the maze of survival. I am afraid, you will now have to go it alone without your guide. The only advice I can give you: Live with honor and follow your conscience.

There is no greater nation on earth than our Motherland. No greater people than our own. Serve them with all your heart, with all your might and with all your strength. Son, the ball is now in your hands.

Lovingly,
Dad
Bonifacio

Life After Ondoy

2009-10-28T16:09:00.000+08:00

All I need to know about life, love and loss I learned after Ondoy.

Life. That Saturday, September 26, 2009, Domeng and I planned to have breakfast in McDonalds. It is something of a routine we do when payday comes. It turned out that the weather was too good for sleeping in. We woke up late and I had to rush for work. By 10:30 AM, Domeng called me up at work to inform me of the rising floodwaters in Pinagbuhatan, Pasig City. Two hours after his frantic call, phone lines and electricity were down in the area. I was stranded in a cozy place with all the amenities this frivolous world could offer while my family endured Ondoy’s might and wrath.

I was dry and safe. But guilt, regret and worry flooded me in. I was diminished. My only salvation was prayer. When I reached our flooded home the morning after, all that mattered was seeing my family, my very reason for being, all in one piece.

Love. While waiting for the storm to pass, I held on to prayer. It did wonders. An inner voice assured me that Domeng could weather Ondoy without me; that Nico and Zoe would be safe; that yaya Joy would offer whatever help is necessary to ease the kids’ anxiety. True enough, they all managed to conquer the moment. They were able to salvage the basics at the second floor. Their bags were packed. They were ready to relocate.

The control freak that I am, acts of surrender are Herculean tasks. But on that fateful night, feeling helpless, I could do nothing but submit everything to God. Domeng had the same resolve. He was willing to give up his life for the kids. He was prepared to stare death in the face. Was it an act of weakness on his part? To me, it was an act of love.

The remarkable thing about our Ondoy ordeal is that, we were made aware of God’ s loving presence. Nico monitored the radio and Domeng asked him for updates. Before electricity was cut off, Nico was tuned in a local station that had this message to listeners: God will never abandon us.

Loss. And God is indeed with us even after Ondoy. The assistance, help and support from relatives and friends have been tremendous. I have no right to complain.

A month after fleeing Pasig, Domeng went back to survey the extent of damage and necessary clean up. From the look of things versus our financial status, we will struggle to recover and rebuild losses incurred by Ondoy. It will not be easy. In fact, I am overwhelmed with the task at hand. There is so much to clean, so many things to let go. But this is what I learned, God never willed His people to suffer. The destruction brought by Ondoy was not an act of God, but man’s failure to be responsible stewards of this earth.

Sometimes I think I do not deserve such gifts of life and love. The sinner that I am. Then again, each of us is called to goodness and universal holiness. So I trudge on bearing the loss, the pain and discovering the graces that come with sacrifice.

Kuya F! Filipino Modern Day Hero

2009-10-18T11:32:00.006+08:00

Campaigns are up for the CNN Hero of the Year Award. The Philippines' very own, Efren Penafolrida Jr. is in the running. Known as Kuya F! in the Cavite community where he set up Dynamic Teen Company, his pushcart classrooms continue to help kids in the slums overcome adversaries brought by poverty.

I'm casting my vote. He's a teacher. He's a Filipino. He's a modern day hero!

Bangon By Rico Blanco

2009-10-13T11:21:00.004+08:00

Papadoms and I are great fans of Rico Blanco. His music is genuine. His lyrics poetic. He could bring these two together in a seamless composition that is simply known as a song. But, dear me, he does it so well his contemporaries are getting nosebleeds! The man is a genius!

A few weeks after Ondoy came to pass, he lent his exceptional talent by composing a new song - BANGON. Call it a theme song to inspire and encourage Ondoy victims (like hubby and I) to rise from the muck and mud, but it also speaks of the many Filipinos who extended life and limb in the relief, rescue, recovery and rebuilding operations.

View the video from this blog. Read and ponder on the lyrics below:

Bangon

pinaluhod tayo,
sa isang hagupit
niragasa, sinalanta,
pinaluha

humupa ang unos, isang bahaghari!
dala ng bukang liwayway-
pag-ibig
pagkakaisa

BANGON
pilipinas kong mahal
akay ang pananampalataya sa may kapal
AHON
buhay sa yong dugo
ang tibay na tatak ng tunay na Pilipino

at nagising ang bayanihan
milyon milyon naging isa
walang kami
walang kayo
walang sila
tanging ligaya
ay pag alay ng sarili sa iba

BANGON
pilipinas kong mahal
akay ng pananampalataya sa may kapal
AHON
taglay ng yong dugo
ang tibay na tatak ng tunay na Pilipino

bridge:
hindi ka namin iiwan
hindi tayo susuko!
lulusong tayo't magtatagumpay
magtatagumpay!

BANGON
pilipinas kong mahal
akay ang pananampalataya sa may kapal
AHON
buhay sa yong dugo
ang tibay na tatak ng tunay na Pilipino

coda:
lahat nitong mga pagsubok
ay ating kayang lagpasan
lahat nitong mga pagsubok
ay ating kayang lagpasan

Source: http://amillionflames.multiply.com/music/item/9/BANGON

Dr. Dina Joana Ocampo's Acceptance Speech*

2009-10-07T09:56:00.003+08:00

*Taken from my Inbox. It reduced me to tears for reasons I do not know. Perhaps it is because I know Teacher Dina and the work she does. Or it could be because, aside from being a librarian, I am a teacher as well.

H.E. Ambassador Liu Jianchao
Metrobank Group Chairman Dr. George S. K. Ty
Secretary Jesli Lapus
Secretary Peter Favila
Mr. Aniceto Sobrepeňa
The Search for Outstanding Teachers Final Board and Preliminary Board of Judges
The Outstanding Philippine Soldiers
The Country’s Outstanding Policemen in Service
Fellow teachers
Friends, Family,
Ladies and Gentlemen:

On behalf of Ramon “Monching” del Fierro, Gemma Cortez, Benjamin “Benjie” Martinez, Eva Imingan, Lourdes “Bibay” Matan, Shena Faith Ganela, Zoilo Pinongcos Jr., Rochelle “Chelle” Papasin, and Petra “Ping” Romualdo, good evening. We would like to express our deepest gratitude to Metrobank Foundation for this honor. Moreover, you have taken such good care of us that we now all feel like celebrities, nay, heroes. Ping says it clearly: “Only Metrobank has given such a big honor to small teachers like us”. The pomp and splendor of all the festivities, not to mention meeting so many dignitaries are far more than what we deserve.

We all feel wonderful about being a 2009 Metrobank Foundation Outstanding Teacher. But, lest you all start to think that we have gotten to used this fame and glamour, let me set the record straight. It’s not easy being one of your awardees.

First, the wardrobe. I have to wear this beautiful terno with matching high heels. If not for my mother-in-law, I would look exactly as I do everyday – comfortable and very comfortable. Mama Techie, thank you for making me feel pretty tonight.

Second, I have to stand here feign confidence and speak in behalf of 9 amazing warriors. These teachers win the daily battle for student learning in their classrooms. All face challenges such as the lack of resources and support, cramped classrooms, and inadequate facilities. Yet they are victorious precisely because of their creative solutions to these obstacles. You know what they say, what doesn’t kill you, makes you excellent.

The diverse perspectives on teaching make us quite an interesting lot. Some look at teaching as a profession that requires passion and dedication. Others view it as a vocation – a call which they answered and were finally chosen to serve. Others see teaching as the path to change. Personally, I think that teaching is my path to heaven because it is the only thing I am good at. The best we can all do is to emulate the greatest teacher who, more than 2000 years later, continues to instruct us to be honest, to be true and to love one another as He has loved us.

Third, while to pretending to be worthy of representing the 2009 winners, I have to admit that for nearly 24 years, I was fundamentally wrong about something. I strongly disagreed with the common belief that teachers mold minds of the youth. A mold always signified to me a predefined shape. Having these notions prevented me from looking deeper at the meaning of the word.

But when I realized that I had been taught by no less than six Metrobank Outstanding Teacher Awardees, namely Elena Cutiongco, Socorro Villalobos, Aurora Liangko, Evelina Vicencio, Vilma Resuma, and my 2nd year high school classroom adviser Eleanor Eme Hermosa, well, I had to rethink my assumptions. They provided me with the preceding, repetitive occurrences of good teaching practices.

In addition, I have interacted with many other former awardees. On this list are Dr. Ibe, Teacher Fely and Ambeth Ocampo, who by the way is not my husband. And finally, while scanning the list of former winners, I came across the name of Ms. Fagela, who is the favorite teacher of the unparalleled Ché Cristobal, the man who chose to share his life with me. Therefore, I have had to figure out what mold really meant.

Apparently, the origin of mold is the Latin word modus which means a measure, limit, method, or way. In statistics, a modus is the value with the largest number of observations. So it is probably true that, indeed, my six mentors have shaped me into the teacher that I am by providing the manner to emulate, demonstrating the standards to which one must measure up, and by showing that there are only limits where we put them. I hope that by being chosen this year, I have given my teachers the joy of another derivative of the word modus, one that is drawn from classical logic: modus ponens. This means affirming the antecedent. The product affirms the producer. Thank you for your modus operandi of excellent teaching which has brought me here tonight.

Now, if you recall, I was orienting you about what responsibilities come with this coveted award. So far I have enumerated three reasons -- my wardrobe, my feigned courage and my faulty notion. There are three more.

The fourth arises from the third. Obviously, we can trace to former teachers most of my teacherly qualities. But what about the other nine awardees? They are excellent all because of their own talent, skill, commitment, tenacity and creativity. Gemma, Benjie, Eva, Bibay, Zoilo, and Ping all overcame the hardships brought about by poverty to pursue their dreams. Chelle endured the traumas children should never experience in a war-torn village. Shena stood firm on her desire to be a teacher despite strong social disapproval while Monching sought the elusive higher learning opportunities to develop into the respected biochemist that he is today.

Through them, we draw much inspiration and before them I am humbled. Everyone knows it’s never easy to eat humble pie. But this is what the Metrobank Foundation process has nourished me with since the nomination process started last February. Indeed I am better for it. Thank you to Dr. George S.K. Ty, Mr. Chito Sobrepeňa, Mr. Nick Torres, Ms. Irene Labitad and the rest of the Metrobank Foundation officers and staff members for such healthy food for soul.

The fifth challenge was learning to be happy in the midst of grieving and loss. When I was told that I had made it to the winning circle, I was of course happy. I wished that my father-in-law, Adrian Cristobal, and my dear mentor Malu Doronila were around to tease me about it. Worse, the elation was certainly tempered by the illness and eventual passing of a woman I had admired since I was a college student.

Corazon Aquino responded to a call to depose a tyrant who had abused the Filipino people’s trust and endangered their well-being. Despite her lack of experience in government and the obvious and invisible threats to herself and her children, her faith in God and the severe righteousness she displayed moved me. Her death last August 1 put the magnificence of receiving the Metrobank Outstanding Teacher award in proper perspective. What I had done to deserve this honor was only a fraction of what she had done for me, my generation of Filipinos and for the Filipino nation. Therefore, I am but another derivative of the word modus. I am but a modulus – an absolute value or integer of a quantity which maybe positive or negative. I aim to be like her, a positive influence. My fellow awardees have done so much more. Bibay forges silent covenants with their students so that they may always do their best. Upon President Aquino’s death, Eva immediately taught a lesson about her life as tribute.

Like any integer, a modulus can be influenced by other numbers. The other values in our environment have all taken us to a positive direction. Our students have the greatest power over how we behave in our classrooms. They are catalysts of many possible emotions, as you all know. But Shena’s students recognize that she teaches well because she has Jesus in her heart. Benjie’s students (as well as those of his wife’s) prayed for his victory because children’s prayers ring loudest in God’s ears. What other evidence do we need to be convinced that we teachers are truly blessed by our students? By keeping top of mind our students’ welfare, we veer toward the positive. For example, while waiting for the results, Gemma was feeling anxious so she took over classes of her co-teachers so ease her tension. She probably taught better that day than she had ever done before.

The environment in which teachers are allowed to do our jobs is another multiplicand. Though our work place cultures differ, all 10 of us agree that the nurturing and challenges there multiplied both our efficiency and commitment. Our superiors enabled us to engage our communities and publics. Zoilo has earned the respect of the toughest critics in his school by virtue of this award. Chella has begun the process of recognition of other teachers in her school. On my part, I appreciate UP’s modus vivendi of agreeing to disagree.

For each of us, our families are the exponents which increase the value of the modulus. They are our greatest source of love, our equalizers. Monching believes his mother extended her love from heaven in order for him to win this year’s prize. To my parents, Nena and Delfin Ocampo, thank you for allowing me to go into education. To my brother, Al and his family, you make our family whole. To my wonderful sons Adrik and Alon, and my beloved husband Ché, thank you for being my bottomless wellspring of happiness. Our families deserve to receive awards of their own for bearing with us because sometimes we have had to prioritize our work and students. They respected our choice to stay in this country to teach in our schools rather than seek more financially rewarding opportunities in other lands.

This award cannot be solely measured by money, though that part of the award is much appreciated and will certainly be put to good use. Some will finally be able to build their homes. Some have dedicated a portion to their churches or to the future of our children. Some will keep a little for their retirement. The Metrobank Foundation Outstanding Teacher Award is truly meaningful to each of us in different ways. It means greater inspiration to excel and to do good work. It is an affirmation of their chosen path and unique style as a teacher. It also spells hope.

I look forward to the time when all children will find meaning in what they read so that they may make meaning for themselves, about themselves and their communities. The day will come when each person, regardless of age, will have a place for learning whether in the community, church or farm because learning continues throughout life. We hope that each student will engage the world with a mind and imagination that is true to his culture. Mahatma Gandhi, in 1916, wrote: “Suppose that we have been receiving during the past fifty years, education through our vernaculars, what should we have today? We should have today a free India, we should have our educated men, not as if they are foreigners in their own land but speaking to the heart of the nation; they would be working amongst the poorest of the poor, and whatever they have gained during the past fifty years would be a heritage for the nation.”

We will see the day when our schools will secure our heritage and future as a people by sharpening children’s minds with the languages that are closest to their hearts. We all hope that all educational interventions are systematically designed to succeed so that teachers will no longer bear the brunt of blame when outcomes fall short of expectations. When that happens, programs, methods and materials will truly educate students to become better Filipinos who are capable of connecting with other peoples and societies.

Classroom teachers work very hard to make better schools and yet, they are not accorded the respect and status they deserve. To my mind, having gone to the halls of government served to remind those in political power that teachers are the nurturers of the nation; that one cannot be more powerful than a parent or a teacher. I look forward to the day when teachers will be thanked rather than blamed, celebrated rather than ridiculed because they are only teachers. World Teachers’ Day on October 5 is one concrete step for this aspiration to become a reality. The campaign to herald teachers as heroes is kicked off today, the most fitting of occasions.

The ten of us believe that this award will be most meaningful when every teacher teaches to the highest standards every single day; that beyond content and skills, children learn to how to think. Until that day comes, we will, in the jargon of artificial intelligence, implement modus ponens or forward chaining. In simpler terms, we promise to pass it forward.

Therefore, the final blow that comes with winning this award is the challenge of living up to it as our selves, and despite our selves. For this particularly difficult one, we can only turn to God for whom our work is offered as prayer and to whom all the glory belongs. Thank you very much and good evening.
------------
delivered: Sept. 4, 2009 at the Metrobank Plaza during the launching of the campaign for World Teacher's Day.

Storytelling for Healing and Learning

2009-10-05T15:20:00.003+08:00

Telling Family and Personal Stories : For Healing, Therapy and Learning

The workshop explores family and personal stories for reading skills development and the fostering of cultural and family literacy. Different storytelling ways to collect and cull out these personal stories will be discussed. Telling techniques like read aloud, participative telling, and use of props and puppets are included in the workshop.

Saturday November 7, 2009
The Learning Library, San Juan
16 Gen. Vicente Lim St.
Little Baguio, San Juan

Workshop Fee: 500 Php (Professionals) 250 Php (for college students) per session
1st session - 8.30 AM-11.30 AM
2nd session - 1.30 PM - 4.30 PM

Proceeds of the workshop will be donated for the house repair fund for the family of an Ondoy survivor.

*Registration is on a first come first serve basis. Limited seats so advance payment of at least 60% can be made. Call or send text messages via 09209602884 for details.

Illuminating Interfaces*

2009-10-05T12:23:00.006+08:00

When our shepherd couple Ed and Sol Macalalad informed our BCGG early this year that we would soon have our first interface with another BCGG, I was excited. The natural extrovert, I looked forward to meeting people, to knowing new faces and enriching my social life. It meant new friends and it offered possibilities. I saw it as an opportunity to learn, and eventually grow, from the many life stories that other couples would be sharing.

My husband, Domeng, on the other hand, feebly welcomed the thought of such an encounter. He is the shy one, you see. But, there we were on our first interface with Emmanuel listening and sharing, bearing light and tasting the salt. A month after, the Ibardos, along with the rest of the BCGG Philippians, welcomed us in their cozy home in Bicutan.

So far, the interface has been a pleasant and meaningful experience for Domeng and I. In fact, we both marveled at the steadfast faith of the elder couples in Emmanuel and Philippians. We stayed up all night talking about our impressions on their life affirming journeys. Theirs was not a tell-all tale ala talk show extravaganza. In bits and pieces, we figured out how faith and hope work in the lives of people; that suffering is an act of love; that in moments of one’s fragility, one could see the loving face of God. Their testimonies were edifying.

Here we are at the early stages of our married life, going through hills and valleys, groping our way in darkly lit paths and falling more than once in mud pits complaining and regretting on past mistakes that can never be taken back. Our elders, meanwhile, have so much to be grateful for having endured the trying moments in their marriage and family life. Surely, if they can survive, we will too in God’s love and mercy.

Another insight I gathered from the interface that touched me so was the realization that Domeng and I will forever be parents. Our kids may grow and leave the nest, but wherever they are and whatever they may become, we remain their mother and father. Eventually we wil let go of Nico and Zoe. When the time comes, it will hurt and it will give us many sleepless nights thinking about their welfare and wellbeing. We will merely hold on to memories of their childhood, remembering the joys and pains of rearing them into responsible and God fearing citizens of this country. When the time comes, however, that they need our help we will do our duty as parents no matter what.

The bond is strong in the level of our BCGG. And yes, we will remain loyal to it. I suppose it is the same with the others. Yet, there is a bigger community in Magis Deo to break bread with. Only when we break can we let our light shine then, we truly become couples for others. Domeng and I are blessed to have seen the light in other BCGG couples of the community.

It is about time to lift the covering of our lamps.

*For the October Issue of the Magis Deo Newsletter

Buhay Baha

2009-10-01T13:00:00.005+08:00

Good bye Dahlia St! Papadoms looks over the village store and other houses submerged in the water. We wonder when will the water subside. The last flooding in the area was in 2000. It took two months for the water to completely dry up.

Zoe is more amused than Nico. He was only three years old when the first flood came into our lives. Now he witnessed it a second time.

Papadoms closing the gate in our house. It was a bitter sweet moment. But what can we do? The water started to stink on Sunday morning. There was dirt and garbage everywhere!

It was not this bad during the flood of 2000. In nine years, we didn't do anything right.

The roads near Pasig Cathedral was turned into a market place. It was a chaotic sight when I went back for my family on Sunday morning. My resolve was strong. We need to relocate for the time being. And we did.

Let me clear some things up

2009-09-30T00:15:00.000+08:00

Look, I would not be asking for help if I don't need it. Seek and you shall find. Ask and it shall be given.

Second, I have loans. Tons! I have debts to pay - left and right. It is by God's grace and mercy that we're kept financially afloat. I think, at least, I have done some good in the past to have friends and family members help us through this difficult time in our lives. I think, despite myself, I'm still a good person who, unfortunately made wrong decisions in the past. If you want to know how the loans and debts piled up, it's another story so let's save it for an afternoon of coffee and conversations. The important thing is, I'm mending my ways. I have recognized God's plan and design. It's no joke to be in the renewal process since I've sacrificed so many attachments already. Then again, I gained a lot too. I realized who my REAL FRIENDS are! I came face to face with my own faults and weaknesses. I valued my family more than my WORK. I learned to genuinely love myself. TOUGH LOVE is what it's called.

Now here comes Ondoy.

It came at a time when I'm in the process of rebuilding my self.

The truth is, I don't know what to do but knock on people's compassion and generosity. Sure, there's SSS and PAGIBIG loans. Sadly, we could not afford another loan. Not this time. Besides, I do not get the point. Our house, a basic need - shelter - is damaged by the flood. To rebuild and recover it we need to avail of a LOAN. Utang na naman? (Another loan?)

How can we recover with yet another loan?

The Things We Gained From The Flood

2009-09-29T21:51:00.004+08:00

I had to ride a bangka (boat) and a makeshift raft to reach our house in Pinagbuhatan, Pasig the day after Ondoy. I knew what to expect for this was not the first time we experienced flooding in the area.

Back in 2000, when I was pregnant with Zoe, we suffered the same fate. But it was a different story. The flood came at a different time in our lives (Papadom's and mine). Ondoy is a whole new experience all together. It left me scarred, traumatized and tormented.

First of all, I had to deal with the flood away from Papadoms and my two kids. I was in a dry and safe place with wifi connection and electricity. PLDT phone lines were working too. My family had none of those by 12.30 PM of Saturday, September 27. I only slept for three hours, my good friend, Mona Dy was beside me. But it was a troublesome sleep. I would wake up in between hours wondering if my family was still alive or if the waters had not taken their lives yet. The long wait for morning drove me crazy.

Although I knew what to do when morning came, my last SMS from Yaya Joy assuring me that they're ok at the second floor of our house left me frayed and frazzled. So with a prayer in my heart, I headed on for home. Riding the raft made by our Muslim neighbors sailed me through thigh-deep waters. When the raft reached the gate, I called for my husband. I never heard Papadoms call my name so fervently until that morning. The house was in disarray. Our bedroom window was broken. Our door was hanging on two hinges. A water hose was coiled around the stairway held by strings supplied my family with tap water. I waded in waist deep water around our house.

Papadoms and Yaya Joy did a neat job salvaging the basic furniture- gas range, TV, ref, washing machine. The rest are lost in the flood. I heard my kids call for me from upstairs but it was Papadoms' embrace that made me cry. For the next three minutes we stood there, in the middle of the sala, creamy water surrounding us, papers afloat, old shoes and toys bobbing up and down. We hugged for what seemed like forever. And then, he cried. Nothing else mattered but family.

At 1PM we left 56 Dahlia St. Garden Royale Villas, U, Velasco, Pinagbuhatan, Pasig City aboard the same makeshift raft that brought me home earlier that day. Now I owe our Muslim neighbors big time. They are very crafty people. I do not regret paying them a lump some to bring us to the City Hall. There we walked three blocks more to get a ride out of Pasig City.

We lost a lot from the flood. Property. Our sense of bearing. A bit of dignity. But we gained a lot too - faith, humility and hope.

Flooded in Manila

2009-09-26T15:50:00.003+08:00

This has to be the worst flood, ever!

I am stuck in Quezon City. My family is in Pasig City. Water is knee-deep inside the house. Kids, hubby and yaya are wet and weary. I'm dry, worried and miserable.

God, help us!

Performers and Performances

2009-09-22T08:03:00.002+08:00

Last week, I had the pleasure of witnessing children perform in two different events. One performance was during the Literacy Night at Create Learning Paths, a school owned by teacher and writer, Tin Canon. The other was the contest on Reader's Theatre sponsored by Rex Books Store at the Manila International Book Fair. It is a joy to watch children perform. There were songs, dances, adlibs and the confluence of traditional and modern art forms. Though guided by teachers, their renditions were sophomoric but, the potential for growth and learning is obvious. In cases like this, it is the journey towards the actual destination that matters more. In the many hours of practice and preparation, I'm sure the children, as well as the teachers learned so much about themselves and the process they underwent.

On the other side of the spectrum, I was fortunate to watch Cecile Licad at the Cultural Center of the Philippines. She was mesmerizing! She went back three times for the encore. It was her rendition of Chopin's Etude in D minor that brought tears to my eyes. I was moved to the core of my being. It was a spiritual and mystical experience, I tell you. Her music seemed to tell me, that yes, I am loved despite my many flaws. Besides, I felt so privileged to witness her brilliant virtuosity at the piano. Afterwards, I got the chance to have my picture taken with her. I briefly mentioned my gratitude to her for playing the second encore as it touched me so. In a deep resonant voice, she answered "Thank you. It's Chopin."

What a voice! Big and low like ocean waves coming from its depths to surface on the shore.

And now I go to Imelda.

Yes. Marcos. Imelda. Imelda Marcos.

She was there at Cecile Licad's concert. She did not perform. God, forbid. But her mere presence, her statuesque stance tells it all -- I am a performer! Look at me and be dazzled!

I was stunned. Luis Gatmaitan had to encourage me to walk up to her for a photo opp. By the way, the free tickets were courtesy of Luis. With his camera ready, he snapped a shot or two. He still has the photos though. I am patiently waiting when he will send them to me.

I am no fan of Imelda or any of the Marcoses. I admire and respect the intelligence of the Marcos brood, but I belong to the People Power generation. I have noting to do with Martial Law, but it was Ninoy and Cory who made greater influences in my political and social development.

But that night, I could not help myself. I had to tell Imelda how beautiful she is. And that she will stay that way forever. She looked at me with adoring eyes, as if, I am the beautiful one. She touched my cheek with the palm of her hand. It was warm and soft like my mother's. With a smile she replied, "Thank you! Oh, thank you!"

Then she walked away, back to the theatre. The press and the people wanting her followed behind.

I stood there for a while wondering how someone so beautiful could have allowed Marcos to do what he did in the turbulent 70's and the early 80's. She may have given life to Philippine arts and culture, promoting the true, the good and the beautiful but nothing could pacify and heal the victims that Martial Law left behind. There are many of them. Scarred. Bitter. Suffering to this day. Only justice can bring peace. Sadly justice has been elusive.

Patrick Swayze (1952-2009)

2009-09-15T09:00:00.004+08:00

Patrick Swayze soars and glides to heaven's dance floor.

Thank you for dancing dirty!

Noynoy is my presidentiable

2009-09-13T10:34:00.000+08:00

Last September 9, 2009, when Noynoy Aquino made his press release of running in the 2010 elections, I was in a taxi. The driver had the good sense of tuning in the program of Mike Enriquez for its coverage. He appeared to be unsurprised. So am I. Mr. Taxi driver and I both knew, as well as the rest of this banana republic that he will run for president next year.

The Liberal Party has the upper hand right now, at least, psychologically. It was a good political move, convincing Noynoy to run. The other parties must be hard at work right now conjuring their own tricks and tactics. But the thing is, I like Noynoy. I like him so much he made me decide to register again.

I like him because he has such formidable parents. I like him because he seems to be the ideal uncle to a special nephew. I like him because he has no charm at all like Kris and the rest of hi sisters. I like him because in him, I see a glimmer of hope.

That's why I'm voting for him in 2010.

Rainy Day Blues

2009-09-12T22:10:00.005+08:00

News have it that the weather will remain wet and soggy until next week.

This is good.

My orchids have been parched since the closing days of August. Now, it's leaves glow a bright green color. I am waiting it to grow flowers. I do not garden nor do I take an interest in tending one. But I hope that nature will work its magic on the plant. The hibiscus plant is showing a lot of promise too. This morning, I saw that it has bloomed a dark red flower. It's petals glistening with raindrops. Even the oregano plant that grow so generously by the gate is bursting with buds. Two months ago, it was all twigs and thimbles. Mothers and manangs of the neighborhood could not help but pick the healthy leaves as cure for cough and colds. And the most amazing sight I noticed this morning was the moss and fern like plants that grew on our old floor mop. Indeed, water brings forth life.

Then again, the rainy days bring disease and fear.

Though I am enjoying the cool temperature, no humidity and the aircon unused for several nights, I beginning to germinate the beginning of a very bad cold. The kids are having asthma attacks left and right, and Papadoms, has been wheezing as well. Then there's the grueling daily commute to school and work. Hassle talaga when it's raining! I think I have lost two umbrellas since last week. I ruined one today. Worse, there are leaks around the house that Vulca seal could no longer heal.

The hubby and I are left looking up, waiting for the next water fall, a pail or two in our hands. We both reach in our pockets only to feel the holes inside it. Prayer salvages us in every rainy day. Just like the plants in our small piece of untended garden, we try to weather the tough times, rain or shine.

We will flourish and grow, eventually.

Just a Note

2009-09-08T07:30:00.002+08:00

I've been really busy the past two weeks that updating my personal blog has come to a standstill. I'm doing a juggling act again. Will post something interesting soon.

Promise.

In Love With Capul

2009-08-26T13:13:00.001+08:00

It's not Boracay. It's better!

For A

2009-08-24T18:58:00.004+08:00

I did not expect us to be friends. You were antipatika and sarcastic. And, at the time, I thought you were pretty snotty.

You have reason to be. You're smart and sensitive. You carried maroon like it's the color of your blood. Your dreams are grand. Your vision, great! Then one day, something crushed you to the ground. No, it is not lupus. But something more lethargic because it afflicted your soul.

I remember giving you an advice then. Because you asked for it. You replied, "Ah, mabait kang tao."

After that, everything changed. I did not tell you then, but really, between us, you are the kinder one. So the coffee and conversations brewed and blended in our days of catching up and keeping up. You listened so well. So damn well that now I know where your strength as a writer came from. Girl, you can write everything and anything! I was awed with your ideas and your outlook in life. I thought lupus will not bring you down, but heartache will.

Well, I was wrong. Now I only have memories of you.

You initiated me to my first Palanca Awards night.

You gave me the idea to use Z as my signature in our chats online and email exchanges because you singed A. A-Z, katuwa diba?

You gave me encouragement to write despite being olats in writing contests and workshops.

You provided me with clear and objective feedback and critiques on my writing.

You were the friend who backed me up twice. The same friend who lent financial support with out asking for payback.

Thank you, A for your gift of friendship and laughter. I thank you for trusting me enough to know the demons that stir and try to break your soul. I am rendered helpless too for I have my own to contend with. It isn't so bad when I think about it because there's two of us alike in some ways. Har-dee-har!

Lastly, I'm sorry. For missing your 30th birthday and not emceeing the occasion. I still owe you, big time! But like what you said the last time we met, "Kape-kape muna ang sisingilin ko sayo!"

A friend in need, is a friend indeed. Come to my dreams, A. Show me how to repay you.

This Week's Highlights

2009-08-21T00:11:00.003+08:00

I met Maritoni Ortigas of the Filipinas Heritage Library last Tuesday and Jonathan Best of the Ortigas Foundation Library yesterday. Beautiful people.

I told a stories to grade five students of De La Salle Zobel last Monday and to preschoolers in Ridgefield School on Wednesday. Once again, I got to do what I love doing.

I'm awaiting to see the publication of two feature articles I wrote for Star Teacher Magazine. The other, for Pinoy Tayo Saan Man. Writing is hard work, but it pays.

Lastly, I was invited to work in collaboration with an international storyteller for a book proposal. I said YES. Of course.

And as the Wyeth project winds down to a close, I thank God for providing everything I need.

Senti Lately

2009-08-19T08:15:00.004+08:00

Tumatanda na nga kami ni Papadoms.

2001 pa nauso yung awitin ng Fra Lippo Lippi na Later, pero kagabi lang namin na-enjoy ng lubusan ang melody at lyrics. Ayos! Maganda siyang make-out song! Har-dee-har!

May hang-over pa ako ng senti feeling kaya bumisita ako sa YOUTube at napadpad ako sa mga awitn noong 80's at 90's. Isa sa mga hinanap ko ay ang mga awiitin Smokey Mountain. Nagreunion na pala sila. Hindi yata nagbago si Jeffrey Hidalgo. Geek pa rin si Tony Lambino. Clean cut naman si James Coronel. Alam naman nating lahat kung ano na ang nangyayari sa buhay ni Geneva.

Hay, gulay, este, buhay!

Happy At Being Zarah

2009-08-15T09:02:00.005+08:00

Teacher Dina Ocampo will celebrate her birthday on August 19. All of Quezon City will be on holiday and the nation celebrates Buwan Ng Wika. Her parents had good sense not to name her Manuela, though. I can't imagine calling her Teacher Ela. Or Teacher Manni.

Hmm...

I thank my mom for naming me Zarah. I don't deserve being called Assunta or Asuncion. It's enough that God has chosen this day for me to remember the blessedness of Mary, the Mother of Christ. If you're Catholic, do not forget to hear mass today.

I Read. Do You?

2009-08-13T21:44:00.002+08:00

Ria M. sent me a meme.

The BBC believes that most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here. How do your reading habits stack up?

Instructions:
1. Copy this into your NOTES
2. Look at the list and put an 'X' in front of those you have read
3. Tag other book nerds
4. Publish

(X) Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
(X) The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
(X) Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
(X) Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
( ) To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
(X) The Bible (not the entire thing)
(X) Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
(X) Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
(X) His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
(X) Great Expectations - Charles Dickens (SAW THE MOVIE)
Total - 9

(X) Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
( ) Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
( ) Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
( ) Complete Works of Shakespeare
( ) Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
(X) The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
( ) Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
(X) Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
( ) The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
( ) Les Miserables - Victor Hugo (SAW THE MOVIE)
Total - 3

( ) Middlemarch - George Eliot
(X) Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
( ) The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
( ) Bleak House - Charles Dickens
( ) War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
( ) The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams (SAW THE MOVIE)
( ) Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
(X ) Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky (didn't finish)
(x) Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
(X) Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll (didn't finish)
Total - 4

( ) The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
( ) Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
( ) David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
(X) Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
( ) Emma - Jane Austen
( ) Persuasion - Jane Austen
(X) The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
( ) The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
( ) Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
(X) Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
Total - 3

(x) Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
( ) Animal Farm - George Orwell (1984 scared me sh*tless already so i'm not reading this one anytime soon even though we have a copy at home)
(X) The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
(X) One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
( ) A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
( ) The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
( ) Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
( ) Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
( ) The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
(x) Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Total - 4

( ) Atonement - Ian McEwan
( ) Life of Pi - Yann Martel
( ) Dune - Frank Herbert
( ) Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
(X) Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
( ) A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
( ) The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
(x) A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
( ) Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
( ) The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night time - Mark Haddon
Total - 2

( ) Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez (oh dear me i didn't finish this too)
(x) Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
( ) Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
( ) The Secret History - Donna Tartt
( ) The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
(x) Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
( ) On The Road - Jack Kerouac
( ) Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
(X) Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
( ) Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
Total - 3

( ) Moby Dick - Herman Melville
(x) Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
(x) Dracula - Bram Stoker
(X) The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett (SAW THE MOVIE, TOO)
( ) Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
( ) Ulysses - James Joyce
( ) The Inferno - Dante
( ) Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
( ) Germinal - Emile Zola
( ) Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
Total - 3

( ) Possession - AS Byatt (DIDN'T FINISH)
(x) A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
( ) Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
( ) The Color Purple - Alice Walker
( ) The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
) Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
( ) A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
(x) Charlotte’s Web - EB White (SAW THE MOVIE)
(x) The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
(x ) Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Total - 4

( ) The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
( ) Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
(X) The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
( ) The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
( ) Watership Down - Richard Adams
( ) A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
( ) A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
(x) The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
( ) Hamlet - William Shakespeare
x) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
Total - 3

I got 30. So many books, so little time.

Metrobank Most Outsanding Teacher 2009

2009-08-11T07:56:00.002+08:00

Metrobank has announced its roster of Most Outstanding Teachers of 2009. Get to know these teachers via this press release dated 8 August, 2009. What's comforting is that, most of the teachers who were conferred the award came from the public school sector.

Mabuhay ang gurong Filipino!